Top/Bottom, Mpregs and Omegaverses are Harmful

In erotic and explicit fanfiction, and in hentai, there are some tropes that are very harmful.

If you've read erotic or explicit fanfiction you've probably met these tropes. If you've read or watched hentai you've probably met at least the top/bottom trope.

I'll explain what each of these tropes mean, and why and how they are harmful.

All of these tropes are about men who have sex with men, i.e. same-sex sexual relationships between men.

But first, let me say one thing: If you like these types of things I won't try to stop you to like them, but I want to make you think about how these tropes can be harmful.

The Top/Bottom Trope
The top/bottom trope, also called seme/uke (especially in hentai) or dom/sub (especially in fiction that's supposed to be about BDSM, but is actually about harmful sex about characters who don't know anything about BDSM), is a trope that says that in every sexual relationship between two men there have to be one person who is the top/seme/dom and one person who is the bottom/uke/sub.

"Dom" is short for "dominant", "sub" is short for "submissive".

"Seme" means "attacker" in Japanese, "uke" means "receiver" in Japanese.

The trope says that in any two-person relationship, no matter the actual sexes or genders of the couple, there has to be "a man" and "a woman". That means that if there are two men one of them must be "the vagina", and it also implies that the only type of sex that counts as sex is if a penis is inside a vagina, or, in the case of two men having sex, inside an anal.

This is heteronormative, homophobic, and sexist.

"Who's the woman in your relationship?", or with the case of two women being a couple, "Who's the man in your relationship?"

People think there has to be a man and a woman in a relationship, which is heteronormative.

The thing with same-sex relationships is exactly that, the partners have the same sex/gender. There's no woman in a relationship with two men, and there's no man in a relationship with two women. To think that there have to be a man and a woman to make it a relationship is homophobic.

Then we have this thing about one being "the woman" in a sexual relationship between two men, and calling "the man" by "top", "seme" or "dom", and calling "the woman" (which, to be clear, is actually a man in this case) by "bottom", "uke" or "sub" is sexist. This implies that in a two-sex relationship, i.e. a sexual relationship between a man and a woman, the man is "the attacker" ("seme") and "the dominant one" ("dom") and that he's always on top, he's the one in control, he's the one who decides, he's the one with the power, and the woman is "the reciever" ("uke") and "the submissive one" ("sub") and that she's always on the bottom, she's always controlled, she's the one who can't choose, she's the one without power.

And also, all this suggest that there have to be one who's penetrating and one who's penetrated. People have the notion that men who have sex with men only have anal-penile sex (penis in anal sex), that they always are doing the same thing when they have sex, that one is always in command and one is just going with what the other person wants to do, and, this is the weirdest part, that they know which one have which role from the first time having sex, without talking about it beforehand. And also, the first time they have sex, which is often just after the first time they kiss, or something like that, because it's a trope, they have anal-penile sex. Do you know how hard it can be to have anal-penile sex? And you should absolutely not have it if you haven't researched it beforehand. You have to know about how the anal muscles work. You have to know that you have to use condom and lube. You can't just go. The person being penetrated will, in the worst case, get anal incontinence. The first (and only) time I watched Brokeback Mountain I said, in the end of the movie, that it's no wonder they always seems like they need to poop (they are very stiff and macho all the time), since the first time they even touched each other they had anal-penile sex without any preparation or lube. My head almost exploded from how irritated I got over how they had anal-penile sex (I'm a sex ed teacher). You can't just force a penis, or any other thing, into an anal, you'll destroy your anal muscles and you'll get wounds. The anal has no lubrication, it's not like a vagina, it's much more sensitive, you have to use lube!!!

And all this, the top/bottom thing, is a trope. It comes up again and again in fanfiction, hentai, and other fictional media. It is harmful in so many ways.

I could rant about this all day. It makes me angry. So instead, let's go to the next trope.

The Mpreg Trope
"Mpreg" is short for "male pregnancy", and it doesn't have anything to do with trans men. It has to do with cis men who can get pregnant in one way or another, either via anal-penile sex, or via vaginal-penile sex where one of the men have both a penis and a vagina. So, to be more clear, one man has a penis, and the other man has a penis and a vagina, and the first man puts his penis in the other man's vagina.

Can you see where this is heading?

This trope has all the harmful elements as the top/bottom trope has.

It's heteronormative, because it suggest that there have to be a man and a woman in a relationship, or to be more precise in this situation, a penis who is to be inserted into a vagina.

It's homophobic, because it suggests that it's not a real relationship if... Well, I already said this in the paragraph above.

It's sexist, because the top/bottom trope is a part of this trope.

The reason for this trope is that people think it's cute that men can have children with each other, or, to be more precise, that men can have a "love-child", i.e. a child which was conceived by a sexual act, with each other.

People in general don't like the idea of adopting children, because the children aren't their biological children. This is stupid. Adopted children are as much the adopting parents' children, as biological children are their biological parents' children. The only difference is that adopted children have more than two parents, and they may never meet their biological parents ever again after being adopted.

The Omegaverse Trope
An omegaverse is a universe with at least three biological sexes. There are alphas, betas and omegas, and there may be variations of these.

Maybe you think it's refreshing with a universe with three sexes instead of two. But hear me out; the omegaverse trope is a harmful trope.

In an omegaverse there is a hierarchy, with alphas being on the top and omegas being on the bottom. The gender norms are very rigid. In omegaverses with six sexes there are male alphas, female alphas, male betas, and so on, and in these omegaverses it's often male alphas on the top, and female or male omegas on the bottom.

Since omegas are on the bottom they often disguise themselves as alphas or betas.

Male omegas often have a penis and a vagina, or they have a penis and a womb inside the anus. Female omegas are often just as cis-gender females in our universe, i.e. women with vaginas. Male alphas are as cis-gendered men in our universe. Female alphas often have a vagina, in which there is a clitoris which can grow to be a penis when they get aroused. These are just generalisations; there are other types of omegaverses as well.

So, what are the problems?

First of all, it's sexist. Second, it has a lot of the elements of the top/bottom trope, and it has especially the elements of the mpreg trope, and you already know that those tropes are harmful.

And the thing is that this trope is used quite often in fanfiction, i.e. it's used with characters which in their canon universe are male or female (or something else, but that's rare and still often not the same as in the omegaverse). The fictional characters are changed to fit into these rigid omegaverse norms. Their personalities are changed, to fit the norms. They are not the same characters anymore. It would be one thing if a person writes the completely own story, with their own characters, and put them in an omegaverse. But to put already existing characters in an omegaverse is problematic, since you have to change the characters to fit such rigid norms, which have heteronormative elements in them.

If you like these tropes, go on and like them, I'm not trying to make you dislike them. But please, take a moment and think about the harmful elements of the tropes.

Katter är inte vilddjur

 
Många tycker att jag har rätt extrema åsikter när det gäller katter. Personligen tycker jag väl inte det (för det är ju mina åsikter), men jag förstår att de kan vara en aning kontroversiella.
 
Jag tycker att nästan alla katter ska vara innekatter.
 
Jag har inte tyckt detta mer än några år, för innan dess kunde jag ärligt talat inte så mycket om katter. Jag läste på, massor, när jag började fundera på att skaffa katt. Jag kom fram till, som många före mig redan gjort, att katter borde vara innekatter.
 
Låt mig förklara.
 
 
Fördelar med att ens katt är innekatt
 
Du vet alltid var din katt befinner sig
Nåja, katter kan vara bra på att gömma sig även inomhus, men ni förstår nog vad jag menar. Du kan snabbt hitta innekatten om den har gått och gömt sig. En utekatt kanske inte alltid hör när du ropar in den, för att det är långt bort. En utekatt kan råka bli instängd någonstans, till exempel i ett garage eller ett förråd. En bekant hittade en katt i sitt förråd, den levde, men det var knappt, den vägde nästan inget och var helt lealös. De hade ingen aning om hur länge den varit där, och de vet inte så här i efterhand om katten överlevde efter att de lämnade den hos veterinären. Detta är bara ett exempel, men det finns nog många katter där ute som har blivit instängda på ställen som ägarna inte har ens en aning om att de finns.
 
Du märker om din katt blir sjuk eller skadas
Det finns inte jättemycket en katt kan skada sig på inomhus, jämfört med utomhus. En innekatt ser du dagligen, så du märker lättare om den är skadad eller sjuk, jämfört med utekatter som ibland kan vara borta i några dagar innan de kommer hem. Dessutom så går innekatter enbart på låda, så du ser om des avföring ser annorlunda ut, till exempel så ser du lätt om katten har fått diarré. Samma sak med katter som kräks, du märker att den gör det, för den gör det alltid inomhus, så du kan se färgen på spyan, och eventuellt avgöra varför den kräkts. Här om dagen kräktes vår katt tre gånger. Det var nästan bara gröna blad i kräkset, så vi kunde snabbt dra slutsatsen att hen ätit av någon av våra krukväxter, alternativt ätit för mycket av sitt kattgräs. (Kattgräs är egentligen ett storts spannmål, som planteras på ett litet fat. Kattgräs är bra för katter, framförallt innekatter som inte har tillgång till gräs på samma sätt som utekatter, och som inte rör på sig lika mycket som utekatter. Kattgräset stimulerar magtarmkanalen.) En annan sak som är bra om katten är innekatt är att om den behöver någon medicin dagligen så är det lätt för dig att se till att den får sin medicin, till skillnad mot om den är den typen av utekatt som gillar att vara borta i flera dagar.
 
Katten blir inte sjuk lika lätt
Eftersom en innekatt inte äter djur de fångar utomhus så riskerar de inte att få smittor från dessa djur. Dessutom stöter de inte på andra katter (förutom eventuella kattvänner som bor i samma hem), så de får inte smittor från andra katter. Detta betyder inte att katten aldrig kommer att bli sjuk, men den kommer inte att bli sjuk lika ofta som utekatter tenderar att bli. Dock, ju mer sällan någon blir sjuk, desto större risk att de utvecklar allergi, vilket kan vara bra att känna till. Dessutom får innekatter inte fästingar.
 
Katter är inte gjorda för Sveriges klimat
Våra huskatter, Felis catus, är nära släkt med vildkatten, Felis silvestris. Felis silvestris lever på varmare breddgrader än i åtminstone norra och mellersta Sverige. Felis silvestris är inte evolutionärt anpassade för svensk vinter. De Felis silvestris som lever som mest norr ut lever i Skottland. Det har även funnits Felis silvestris i Danmark förr. Felis silvestris finns på många ställen i världen, de finns i mellersta och södra Europa, i stora delar av Afrika, och i sydvästra och mellersta Asien. Felis silvestris finns inte i Sverige. Och våra tamkatter, Felis catus, är inte, jämfört med många andra djur, jättemycket avlade på, så de klarar ungefär samma klimat som Felis silvestris gör.
 
Katter är inte gjorda för dagens samhälle
I Europa bor Felis silvestris i huvudsak i skogen. De bor inte i städer. I städer finns bilar, vilket inte är en evolutionär fiende för katter. Utekatter som bor i städer visar större tecken på stress än utekatter som bor på landet, eller innekatter, mycket pga bilar, men även pga att de till exempel inte kan ha önskad storlek på sina revir och därmed lätt hamnar i slagsmål med andra katter. Dessutom kan katter förstås bli påkörda av bilar, eller för den delen dödas av arga, elaka människor. En av min sambos gammelföräldrar dödade en gång en grannkatt, för att hen blev så irriterad på att den bajsade på hens tomt, och hen är långt ifrån den enda som gjort så... Det finns många människor där ute som plågar och dödar katter, bara för att de är arga eller för att de tycker att det är kul.
 
Katten stör inte den biologiska mångfalden
Katter jagar och dödar alla former av djur. För det mesta smådjur, så som gnagare, hardjur och fåglar, men de jagar även insekter, och större djur, så som räv. Katter äter inte alla djur som de dödar. Detta stör den biologiska mångfalden, speciellt eftersom det finns alldeles för många katter i Sverige och alltså är det alldeles för många djur som dör.
 
 
Fördelar med att ens katt är utekatt
 
Katten får ordentligt med motion
Utekatter rör sig mycket, de går, springer, hoppar, och så vidare. Innekatter rör sig inte lika mycket, och därför finns det större risk att de blir tjocka och får hjärt- och kärlsjukdomar. Specifikt så hoppas inte innekatter lika mycket som utekatter, vilket kan försvaga deras muskler avsevärt. Det går att gå med en katt i sele (vi gör det med vår katt ibland), men en katt i sele kan förstås inte röra sig lika fritt som en utekatt.
 
Katten jagar bort och dödar skadedjur
Utekatter jagar, som tidigare nämnt, flera olika typer av djur. Om du bor så till att det lätt kommer in skadedjur i form av till exempel råttor som äter din mat, eller räv som äter dina höns, så är det praktiskt med en katt som kan jaga bort och/eller döda skadedjuren. Dock, som tidigare nämnt, så kan detta störa den biologiska mångfalden, men eftersom många skadedjur finns i för stort antal ändå, till exempel råttor, eftersom de frodas på sådant som de inte hade kunnat få tag på i naturen, dvs din mat, så påverkar detta inte den biologiska mångfalden lika hårt som om de äter till exempel småfåglar, dock är det knappast lätt att få en katt att låta bli småfåglarna men fånga råttorna, och råttor kan bära på smitta, så det finns inte bara fördelar med att katterna dödar skadedjur.
 
Katten får inte för långa klor
Utekatters klor nöts på ett annat vis än vad innekatters klor gör, eftersom utekatter går mycket mer, klöser på hårdare material, de gräver, och de går på många olika material (jord, sand, asfalt, grus osv). Men, om du har en innekatt, som får för långa klor, så går det faktiskt att trimma dem. Det gäller att vara försiktig, men i det stora hela är det ungefär som att klippa kanin- eller hundklor. Det går även att få kattens klor klippta hos en veterinär.
 
 
Annat att tänka på oavsett om du vill ha en innekatt eller utekatt
 
Kastrera din katt
Varför utekatter borde kastreras är inte så svårt att förstå. Det finns redan alldeles för många katter i Sverige. Mellan 100.000 och 750.000 katter lever vilt i Sverige (det är ett mörkertal, alltså endast grov en uppskattning), dessa katter är inte vildkatter, de är förvildade katter, det vill säga hemlösa katter som har gått vilse, sprungit bort, fötts i det vilda (av förvildade katthonor), släppts ut, med mera. Om vi inte kastrerar utekatter så blir det fler katter. Dessutom finns det så pass många katter, med hem, i Sverige, så att de "överflödiga" katterna dödas. Många som släpper ut sina okastrerade katthonor får kattungar, som de kanske inte vill behålla, men så lyckas de inte sälja kattungarna, eller ens ge bort dem, för att det redan finns så fruktansvärt mycket katter i Sverige, så istället dödar de kattungarna. Många kattungar dödas genom att dränkas eller skjutas.
 
Att okastrerade katthonor släpps ut med syfte att bli dräktiga, för att ägaren vill ha kattungar, antingen till sig själv eller för att sälja, kallas backyard breeding. Förutom att det blir fler katter än vad det borde bli så är backyard breeding jättedumt för att det inte finns någon som helst kontroll kring vilken hankatt som gör honkatten dräktig, så det går inte att skydda kommande kattungar mot genetiska sjukdomar. Jag är faktiskt för avel (men ännu mer för att adoptera), för inom riktig avel så screenas alla kattungar för genetiska sjukdomar, de katter som visar sig ha sjukdomar kastreras, det går att kontrollera vilka katter som ska få kattungar tillsammans, det går dessutom att veta ungefär hur katten kommer att bete sig, då olika kattraser har lite olika personlighetsdrag. Dessutom så måste avelskatter avmaskas innan de säljs, vilket generellt sett inte görs på backyard bred katter. Att köpa en avlad katt kan vara bra för personer som behöver en katt som sällskap, antingen till sig själv eller till ett husdjur, men som inte kan ha vissa typer av katter, till exempel om de är allergiska. Dock tycker jag att det är jätteviktigt att alla som ska skaffa katt, och har möjlighet att inte köpa en avlad katt, ska adoptera en katt från katthem. Du ska absolut inte köpa en katt som är backyard bred. Dessutom, om du ska köpa en avelskatt så ska du inte köpa från personer som säger sig vara kattavlare men som inte kan visa kattens stamtavla, inte kan visa att de har medlemskap i SVERAK (Sveriges kattklubbars riksförbund), inte har avmaskat kattungarna, eller som säger att en katt är en blandras. Blandras är en myt. Visst att det går att korsa kattraser, men det gör dem inte till blandras, det gör dem till så kallad huskatt, de är alltså som vilken katt som helst. Avlare är inte riktiga avlare om de korsar raser.
 
En annan orsak till varför utekatter borde vara kastrerade är för att okastrerade katter har väldigt stora revir, hamnar lätt i slagsmål med andra katter, är generellt sett mer aggressiva, de vandrar oftare iväg långt bort, och de har en könsdrift som de inte kan hantera (troligtvis har en stor del av den avlats fram).
 
Innekatter bör också kastreras. Detta är av samma anledningar som några av de jag nämnde ovan, mer bestämt så har okastrerade katter större revir, kan vara aggressiva, och de har en alltför stark könsdrift. Okastrerade katthonor tenderar att bli helt absurt rastlösa och stressade när de löper (alltså när de är i en fertil period).
 
Varför ska då både katthanar och katthonor kastreras? Varför ska inte katthonor steriliseras?
 
Sterilisering är ett betydligt mindre ingrepp än en kastrering, speciellt när det gäller katthonor, eftersom katthonor har könsorganen inuti kroppen, till skillnad mot katthanar som har testiklarna i en pung på utsidan. Att kastrera en katthona innebär att ta bort allt, det vill säga livmoder, äggstockar, äggledare med mera. Att sterilisera innebär att endast knipsa av äggledare. Ju äldre en katthona blir, desto större risk är det att hon får livmodercancer eller annan cancer i de inre könsorganen. Om alla de inre könsorganen tas bort så kan de inte få de typerna av cancer, så det blir även förebyggande att kastrera en honkatt hellre än att sterilisera den. Sterilisering tar inte bort könsdriften (stora revir, aggressivitet, rastlöshet, stress med mera), det tar bara bort möjligheten att bli dräktig, därför är det bättre att kastrera honkatter.
 
Honkatter bör inte få p-piller istället för att kastreras (eller steriliseras). Katt-p-piller ökar risken för cancer i de inre könsorganen, diabetes med mera, och p-piller är inte lika säkert, mot dräktighet, som kastrering eller sterilisering.
 
Ge din katt kolhydratsnål eller kolhydratfri kost
Katter är evolutionärt anpassade för att äta kött, ben (ja, de kan äta till exempel fiskben, så länge de inte är kokta!), inälvor osv, alltså specifikt fett och protein, inte kolhydrater. Detta betyder inte att kolhydrater är totalt dåligt för katter, men det ska absolut hållas till en gräns. Anledningar till att ge katter kost med kolhydrater i kan vara om katten av hälsoskäl behöver bantas, för att inte få hjärt- och kärlsjukdomar, då funkar kolhydraterna som bukfylla, eller om katten har magproblem, för att fibrerna i kolhydraterna stimulerar tarmen. Men generellt sett bör katter inte äta så mycket kolhydrater, om några alls. Torrfoder innehåller nästan alltid kolhydrater, medan det varierar mycket mer i blötmat. Ett bra märke på blötmat är Mjau (jag är ej sponsrad), det innehåller inga kolhydrater, dessutom så är det svenskt kött och köttbiprodukter (inälvor, ben m.m.). Socker ska undvikas helt, det blir de tjocka av, och de känner inte ens smaken av sötma, så det är inte som att katten tycker att det är godare med mat med socker i. Katter i allmänhet, och hankatter i synnerhet, bör inte äta helvegetariskt, för det är inte bra för njurarna i längden. De kan dock leva på helvegetariskt, men det är en väldigt stor risk att de får njuproblem när de blir äldre, och det är extra vanligt hos hankatter, allra vanligast är det hos okastrerade hankatter.
 
Adopt, Don't Shop
Om du ska skaffa en katt, vänd dig i första hand till ett katthem. Varje år tas ungefär 6000 katter om hand av katthem, och ungefär ytterligare 2000 katter kan inte tas emot pga platsbrist. Jag är osäker på vad som händer med katterna som inte kan tas emot av katthem, men jag antar att de avlivas. En annan sak att tänka på är att katter kan leva 20 år. Om det varje år kommer 6000 katter till katthem, och om ingen av dem skulle adopteras, så är det 12000 katter på katthemmen nästa år, och året efter det 18000 katter, och så vidare. Så, adoptera en katt, istället för att köpa en, eller för den delen få en katt från någon som släppt ut en okastrerad katt. Som tur är så adopteras många katter, och många katthem använder sig av jourhem, det vill säga personer som låter katthemskatter bo hos dem tills dess att någon vill adoptera.
 
 
En sista grej
Låter du dina andra husdjur gå fritt? Kanske något enstaka, men knappast om du bor inne i stan. Så varför ska du låta dina katter gå fritt? De är också domesticerade.
 
 
Källor
(Endast ett urval, då jag råkade stänga en del flikar innan jag kopierat länkadressen, och inte lyckades hitta alla sidor igen trots att jag tittade i webläsarens historik)
https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vildkatt#/media/File:Wiki-Felis_sylvestris.png
http://www.djurskyddet.se/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kattrapport_2016_webb-1.pdf
http://www.sverak.se/klubbmedlem/uppfodning/avel-uppfodning/
http://kattstatus.se/artikelsamling.html
https://firstvet.com/sv/articles/view/katt/28/p-piller-till-katt
https://www.agria.se/katt/artiklar/skotsel-och-vard/kattens-klor-kan-behova-klippas/
https://www.naturskyddsforeningen.se/sveriges-natur/2009-5/goserovdjuret

Analysis of Yuri on Ice – Is Victuri Canon? – Part 2

SW: Yuri on Ice
 
If you haven't watched Yuri on Ice yet you should really do it before reading this post. Stop read now. There will be lots of spoilers below.
 
You can watch Yuri on Ice here: https://www.anime-planet.com/anime/yuri-on-ice/videos
 

 
Disclaimer: I do not own Yuri on Ice or any of its material. The pictures are screen shots from the anime.
 

 
If you haven't read part 1, do so first, you'll find it here:
http://intersexorwhat.blogg.se/2017/august/analysis-of-yuri-on-ice-is-victuri-canon-part-1.html
 

 
In the first part of this analysis we went through episode 1-10. In this part we'll go through episode 11-12 and then there'll be a bonus part, and after all this there'll be a TL;DR. Let's begin!
 
Episode 11 starts with the competition commentators presenting all the skaters. When they present Yuri they show a picture of when Victor "attack" kisses Yuri.
 
Then we get to see Victor kissing Yuri's ring and his own ring, and Yuri kisses his own ring, just before Yuri starts his program.
 
Commentator: "His coach is empowering their matching rings
in a prayer for victory."
(Hehe, 'Victuri' ;) )
 
"Their matching rings", oh come on, more like "Their engagement rings". By the way, why they never literally say it's an engagement (except for when Victor says it at the restaurant) is probably because the same thing as with not showing the kiss: The creators didn't know if Japan was ready for a non-yaoi romantic relationship between two men, since Japan is kind of homophobic.
 
Victor and Yuri kiss their rings
 
During Yuri's skate we get to see a flashback with Victor hugging Yuri in a way that I think looks very much as a way you hug someone you love romantically. The hug is because Yuri wanted to change his program for higher marks, and Victor gets pleased by hearing that since it means that Yuri doesn't doubt his decisions anymore. Then Victor feels like his heart is about to explode because of how Yuri has stopped to doubt his decisions.
 
Victor feels like his heart is going to explode
because of how happy he is with how Yuri has grown since they first met
 
After Yuri's skate Victor thinks of how he feels new emotions flowing into him through Yuri, he feels this also because of how much Yuri has grown mentally since they met, and probably also because he now understands why Yuri turned him down in the beginning, which was because Yuri didn't remember the banquet.
 
Victor: "Now I can feel new emotion flowing into me though Yuri."
 
Then Yuri seems to be jealous about Victor looking at the other skaters as if he thinks they're better than Yuri and that he thinks Victor wants to return to his own skating career, though Yuri is wrong about both thoughts.
 
In the "next episode" part, stupid Yuri tells Victor to end "this", which we'll see more of in the next episode. Gosh Yuri, what the hell are you doing? *Facepalm*
 
We also get to hear Yuri saying that he'll show everybody how much he and Victor love each other.
 
Victor: "By the way, Yuri... What did you want to talk to me about?"
Yuri: "After the Final, let's end this."
 
Yuri: "I'll be sure to skate my and Victor's love, laid bare to the world!"
 
Yuri, can't you decide what you want or what? Okay, let's look into the 12th episode to really see what this is all about. Victor loves Yuri, and Yuri seems to love Victor but he gets second thoughts. Why does he get second thoughts?
 
Yuri: "After the Final, let's end this."
Victor: "Huh?"
*Victor looks terrified*
 
Yuri: "You've done more than enough for me, Victor.
Thanks to you, I was able to give everything I had to my last season.
Thank you for everything, Victor. Thank you for being my coach."
 
 Victor cries.
Victor: "I didn't expect Katsuki Yuri to be such a selfish human being."
Yuri: "I made this selfish decision on my own. I'm retiring."
 
Victor: "Yuri, what are you doing?"
Yuri: "Oh, I'm just surprised to see you cry."
Victor: "I'm mad, okay?"
Yuri: "You're the one who said it was only until the Grand Prix Final!"
Victor: "I thought you needed my help more."
Yuri: "Aren't you going to make a comeback?
You don't have to worry about me..."
Victor: "How can you tell me to return to the ice
while saying you're retiring?!"
 
They decide to each make their own decisions after the free skate.
 
At the competition Victor is sad, and Yuri is also sad but doesn't show it as much, but the reporter even comment on this by saying "Hmm... It's seems neither Yuri Katsuki nor Victor have the energy we've come to expect."
 
Victor is sad and the reporter notice it
 
Notice that Yuri ties his own skates this time, as a way of the anime creators to show that Victor isn't helping him with it this time, because Victor is sad about Yuri's decision. Victor doesn't know if Yuri cares for him as much as he thought, therefore he doesn't want to show his affection towards Yuri.
 
Yuri ties his skates by his own
 
Then we get some flashbacks from when they hugged at the airport and Victor said "I wish you'd never retire.", and we can tell how tense the atmosphere is between Victor and Yuri.
 
Victor and Yuri don't really know how to act around each other
 
Just before Yuri goes onto the ice he tells Victor to be who he is, not to start acting like a coach just before Yuri's last skate. He wants Victor to smile, to enjoy his skate, he wants Victor to just feel it without thinking of what he could've made better.
 
Yuri: "Victor, I told you before that I wanted you to stay who you were, right?
Don't suddenly start trying to sound like a coach now.
I want a smile for my last time on the ice."
 
Victor answers by telling Yuri that the whole reason he took a break from skating was to coach Yuri. As we know, he wanted to coach Yuri because he fell in love with Yuri, and Yuri pleaded for Victor to coach him, at the banquet. The only reason it took about a year until Victor started to coach Yuri was because Yuri didn't want a commemorative photo with him, and Victor thought Yuri had changed his mind. Victor didn't take a break from skating until Yuri skating Victor's program went viral.
 
Yuri's eyes widen and gleam when he realises what Victor just has told him. He realises that Victor really likes him, and that Victor wants to be by his side and that's why Victor became his coach. I think this is the moment when Yuri, kind of, changes his mind, I'll come back to this later.
 
And I can't emphasise this enough: Victor took a break from skating only to have the chance to be with Yuri and to get to know Yuri, because he became attracted to Yuri at the banquet.
 
Victor also tells Yuri that he really wants to kiss the gold medal, he wants Yuri to get the gold medal, because he wants Yuri to feel like the time with him was really worth it even if Yuri retires.
 
The next moment it looks like Victor and Yuri are about to kiss, and here I think Yuri realises even further how much Victor likes him and what could've led to a kiss instead turns into a small laughter and happy crying.
 
Victor: "Yuri, listen to me. I debated whether I should tell you this now, but...
I took a break after becoming the five-time world champion, to coach you,
so how is it possible that you still haven't won a single gold medal?
How much longer are you going to stay in warm-up mode?
I really want to kiss the gold medal."
 
After this Yuri thinks "I've already made up my mind about my goal.", and what exactly does this mean?
 
I think Yuri tries to convince himself that even though he now wants to continue skating with Victor as his coach, he has already told Victor that he'll retire and it's a choice he feels like not really being able to change. On the inside, though, he really, really wants to continue. He wants to be with Victor.
 
"Why can't they just be with each other even though Victor stops being Yuri's coach?" you may ask. I think this is because if Yuri would retire he probably thinks Victor doesn't want him in his life. Remember how low self-esteem Yuri has. Also, Victor probably understands this by Yuri's way of telling him that he wants to "end this". Probably Victor thinks that Yuri only accepted Victor to come closer and to kiss him (in episode 7) to take advantage of the fact that Victor likes him, to make Victor to stay until the skating season's end.
 
Victor and Yuri clasp hands just before Yuri starts his program. Look at how the rings shine, the creators really wants to empathise how important the rings are. When Yuri lets go of Victor's hand Victor seems like he doesn't want to let go of Yuri's hand. This is to show how much Victor likes Yuri. Victor doesn't want to let go of Yuri, ever.
 
Yuri (thinking): "I've already made up my mind about my goal."
Victor and Yuri clasps hands, and Victor doesn't want to let go of Yuri's hand
 
Yuri starts his program, his last competition with his Yuri on Ice program, which he and Victor choreographed together.
 
Yuri thinks to himself as being a dime-a-dozen, so, well, his self-esteem hasn't really become better... No wonder he thinks Victor wants to quit coaching him, despite everything Victor has told him. Still Yuri thinks of how grateful he is of everything Victor has done for him, and he thinks of how he wants Victor to be his coach forever. He wonders if Victor understands that he wants Victor to stay as his coach forever, but he can't let that happen since it would kill Victor's career as a competitive skater. Therefore Yuri wants his final skate to be perfect, and to be as difficult as Victor's free skate program "Stay Close to Me", to show Victor that it wasn't a waste of time being his coach, (as if Victor would find it a waste of time... Well, we have this thing with Yuri's self-esteem, again.) and he wants to show that even though Victor is not his coach anymore he will still have a piece of Victor inside of him.
 
Victor realises that Yuri has changed his program to prove that he will end at the top. When Yuri nails Victor's signature move, the move Yuri added in the end of his program to show his love to Victor, Victor starts crying. He cries because of how he feels that Yuri has shown him his love to him. Yuri ends the skate by reaching out his hand towards Victor, to show Victor that "This was for you."
 
Yuri: "I'd like the final free skate of my career
to have the same difficulty as Victor's.
Do you realise it now, Victor? I don't want it to end here, Victor.
I want to be figure skating with you forever.
But you staying as my coach means to slowly kill you as a competitive skater.
Look at the Victor who lives on inside of me.
You becoming my coach wasn't a waste of time"
 
Then Yuri starts to cry because he's so happy about that he could show the world how good this program could be, the program he and Victor made together, the program about love, the program that shows his love to Victor by ending with Victor's signature move.
 
Victor holds out his arms to show Yuri how happy he is, but Yuri doesn't want to go hug Victor, he doesn't want to leave the ice, because that would mean it's all over. Yuri thinks that when he leaves the ice he has to end his skating career and to let Victor go back to skating not being able to still be his coach anymore.
 
Yuri: "I don't want to go to the Kiss and Cry.
Because going back there means it's over."
 
By the way, if you haven't grasped it yet, the Kiss and Cry is a place, it's the place where the skater sits with their coach(es) and get their points.
 
In the Kiss and Cry Victor tells Yuri that his performance was so perfect that he shouldn't worry. I don't think that's what Yuri worries about; I think Yuri worries about what to do. He "knows" it's for the best to retire and to let Victor get back to his skating career, but he doesn't want that. He wants to stay with Victor. He wants Victor to continue being his coach.
 
The result is presented, and Yuri has beat Victor's record for a free skate program. Yuri gets chocked, because his self-esteem has over and over told him that he would never be able to surpass Victor. But he did. He realises that he's not that bad of a skater after all.
 
Victor reaches out a hand, and when Yuri takes it Victor brings Yuri in for a hug. Victor whispers in Yuri's ear that it's bliss to have Yuri beating his world record, but it's also an ultimate diss as a competitor. Yuri realises that this means Victor has chosen to come back to competitive skating, but even though Yuri really wants Victor to be his coach he gets happy for Victor's decision.
 
Yuri gets chocked about the result, because he broke Victor's record
 
Victor hugs and whispers to Yuri
 
Yuri: "Does that mean you'll come back?"
 
After this Chris skates, and I find it quite funny that he looks so jealous when Victor wants the reporters to take a picture of him and Yuri with his phone.
 
Victor proceeds to talk to Yakov and Yuri Plisetsky about how he's returning to skating and that Katsuki Yuri probably will retire. Then he hugs Yuri Plisetsky, and both looks kind of sad, I even think that Victor cries when hiding his face on Yuri Plisetsky's shoulder. I think both of them have had a really fun and interesting year with Katsuki Yuri in their life, they don't want it to end. I also think that this is a way of Victor trying to tell Yuri Plisetsky that he doesn't want Katsuki Yuri to retire and he wishes that Yuri Plisetsky can change Katsuki Yuri's mind in some way.
 
When Yuri has gotten his silver medal and goes to Victor he hope Victor will kiss his silver medal. Victor doesn't want to kiss Yuri's silver medal, he wants to kiss a gold medal, he wants Yuri to get a gold medal, and he hints that he wants Yuri to continue skating. Victor even says that he's a failure as a coach because he couldn't help Yuri the whole way to a gold medal. Victor walks close to Yuri, who can't get away because of the rink wall being in the way. Victor asks Yuri if he has any suggestions of what could excite him. I think a lot of people interpret this as Victor only asking for a kiss, but I think it's Victor's way of asking Yuri if he's going to stay in competitive skating or not. Maybe he wants a kiss too though, but I'm not sure, this scene is kind of vague on that point.
 
Either way, Yuri looks like he's unsure about something. I think he's unsure if he wants to stay in competitive skating or not. He has to react on impulse, since Victor seems to want the answer right there and then.
 
Victor (literally) presses Yuri to the wall
to get to know if Yuri has decided if he'll stay in competitive skating or not
Victor: "I'm such a failure as a coach. Yuri, do you have any suggestions?
Something that would excite me? What did you think just now?"
 
Victor probably thinks that Yuri will say no, that Yuri won't stay in competitive skating for one more year, he just wishes really hard that Yuri will say he stays.
 
Yuri tackles Victor down to the floor, for an attack hug, and tells Victor that he wants him to stay as his coach for one more year. Victor gets very happy to hear this, but he says he wants Yuri to become at least a five-time world champion, which is a way of him meaning that he wants to stay with Yuri for many years. Then Victor puts Yuri's silver medal around Yuri's neck and Yuri cries of happiness.
 
Yuri wants Victor to stay as his coach for one more year,
but Victor tells Yuri that he wants to stay as Yuri's coach
for at least five year but hopefully longer.
Yuri cries of happiness.
 
The last scene, before the epilogue, is a scene which I think a lot of people don't notice. Let us notice it together.
 
The skating rink from above, what's here to see really?
 
Let's take a closer look...
 
Same scene but closed up to the cutest thing
 
Okay, let's just think of this for a bit... No, there's nothing to think about really. Yuri got off the ice just after getting his medal together with Yuri Plisetsky and JJ on the podium. Victor confronts Yuri, whom tells Victor that he'll stay in figure skating. There were a lot of people watching the figure skating Grand Prix. And now the only people left are cleaners, and Victor and Yuri hugging. Think of how long they must've been sitting there with Yuri straddling Victor. This is so cute I can't handle it. They really love each other, that's for sure. And if you're one of those who're still not convinced that Victor and Yuri love each other we still have the epilogue and a bonus to go through.
 
The epilogue is an exhibition skate with Yuri skating to Victor's "Stay Close by Me", and then Victor joins the skate to make it a pair skate. I've got a lot of screen shots of this, let's look at a few of them.
 
When Victor joins, Yuri caresses Victor's cheek
and Victor holds Yuri's waist and arm.
 
Then we have this moment were I think they brush lips, because it's something with the frame play here that makes it really looking like they touch their lips. I've gone back and through so many times to see if this is a peck or not, and I actually think it is supposed to be a kiss Easter egg from the creators.
 
Yuri and Victor brush their lips
 
While they skate Yuri caresses Victor's cheek, again, and this time it really looks like he does it to show how much he cares for Victor and how much he loves Victor. Maybe he realised, at last (Gosh Yuri, you really have to work on your self-esteem), how much Victor likes him, when they stayed at the rink, hugging, when almost everybody else were gone.
 
Yuri caresses Victor's cheek and gives him an endearing gaze
 
Another Easter egg is probably all the rainbows in the series. I don't say this is some kind of proof of homosexuality or something like that, I just thought it was cute with all the rainbows and it reminds me of the colours in the end of The Legend of Korra. This was just a side note.
 
There are a lot of rainbows in this show, this is probably the biggest one
 
Bi the way, do I have to tell you that they still wear their "lucky charms"?
 
They still wear their golden rings
 
Then we have one more "brushing lips" scene. This scene also has something going on with the frame rate, so I'll go with the conclusion that this is also a lip touch, because why not.
 
Another lip peck
 
The whole series ends with Yuri coming to Russia, and you know what? He still wears his "good luck charm". It's a while after the competition and he's moving to Russia and he still wears the ring he bought as a "lucky charm" for the skating final.
 
By the way, I forgot to write it earlier. When Yuri buys the rings he thinks to himself how he always wanted an omamori. An omamori is a kind of a lucky charm you get at shrines (a type of religious building) and are small pouches with pieces of papers or suchlike in them. On the papers a shrine priest writes prayers and then makes the omamori sacred by a ritual. So, well, basically the rings aren't omamori at all, so I think Yuri just said that he wanted an omamori and meant that he wanted an omamori as in a real omamori, but since he couldn't get one he needed something else. I think he doesn't think of the rings as lucky charms, but rather the engagement or that when they change rings he asks Victor of saying something for good luck, those are his lucky charms. Victor is his lucky charm. Otherwise he could've bought something else, or put it on another finger, but he wants to show Victor that he wants to be connected to him.
 
Yuri still wears his ring
 
When Yuri and Victor spot each other they look so happy. Like something really precious have been given back to them.
 
Yuri tells us that they call everything on the ice "love", maybe because both of them started to understand love with the skating. Victor wasn't really happy until he met Yuri, and Yuri wasn't really happy until he met Victor. They love each other because they have helped each other so much, and without the skating they would never have met. Now everything they do on the ice reminds them of each other, which they call "love".
 
Then Victor calls "Yuri" in the most endearing voice ever, and if you hadn't started to cry already you're probably doing it now.
 
 Yuri and Victor spot each other
 
I can't be the only one being like this now:
 
Minako and Mari cries of happiness
 
"Are you finished yet?"
 
Nope, here comes a bonus!
 
BONUS
 
Did you know that the creators of Yuri on Ice took inspiration from real life people? Who are these people? Let me go through some of them.
 
First, Victor. Victor Nikiforov was inspired by two persons, one is the ice skater Evgeni Plushenko and the other is the actor John Cameron Mitchell.
 
Evgeni Plushenko
 
Evgeni Plushenko is Russian and he was one of the biggest figure skaters in the world, until he retired in March 2017. He's 34 years old, which is very old for a figure skater, and now as he has retired he has become a coach. He has won gold four times at Grand Prix, and about 15 golds in other competitions such as for example the Olympics. He has set 13 world records. Fun fact: He was the ice skater on scene at Dima's winning performance in Eurovision Song Contest 2008.
 
John Cameron Mitchell
 
John Cameron Mitchell is a writer, actor and director. Mitsurou Kubo, the writer of Yuri on Ice, tweeted in October 2016 that she got inspiration to Victor when she saw John Cameron Mitchell in his play Hedwig. A lot of John's works are about gender and sexuality. John is androphilic, i.e. he likes men. He has worked a lot together with a man who often wear blue-rimmed glasses, Stephen Trask. It has been rumoured if they are or have been a couple, but nothing is said by them officially, though they have kissed each other, on the mouth, several times, in public. Both John and Stephen are Americans.
 
By the way, I really love how Victor even was given John's heart shaped smile.
 
Stephen Trask
 
Well, Stephen is not too far from looking like Yuri, though Yuri is said to being inspired by another person, Hanyu Yuzuru.
 
Hanyu Yuzuru
 
Hanyu Yuzuru is one of the world's best figure skaters right now; Yuzuru is Japanese and has won four Grand Prix Final golds. He is 173 cm, which Yuri is too. He was a big fan of Evgeni Plushenko and now they see each other as friends. Evgeni has showed interest in coaching Yuzuru one day.
 
These are the two main characters; there are a lot more characters who are inspired by real life people. Why I wrote only about the inspirations for Yuri and Victor is partly because they are the main characters, and partly because Victor is inspired by John Cameron Mitchell, who's a homosexual man, and Yuri may or may not be inspired by John's rumoured partner Stephen Trask, who looks a little like Yuri, especially since they both have blue glass rims.
 
I'm not going to talk about any more people who inspired Kubo, but I can just mention that Yuri Plisetsky is heavily inspired by Yulia Lipnitskaya. Just search for "Yulia Lipnitskaya Yuri Plisetsky" and you'll see.
 
Another inspiration source Kubo and her team used was the American ice skater Johnny Weir. Johnny wasn't inspiration for any character, but a lot of his former skating costumes have inspired skating costumes in Yuri on Ice. A fun fact is that Hanyu Yuzuru has gotten help with costume design several times by Johnny.
 
The scene where the two Yuri look through Victor's old ice skating costumes Yuri Plisetsky says "There are lots of stupid-looking ones." I find this funny since Johnny Weir, who is the inspirational source for a lot of the costumes, are often commented on as having weird skating costumes.
 
Yuri Plisetsky finds Victor's former costumes stupid-looking
 
Here are two examples of the Yuri on Ice costumes that were inspired by Johnny Weir. For the second one I couldn't find a photo without copyright, so instead to get to see it in action with a video of Johnny's skating wearing it.
 
Victor in a skating costume inspired by one of Johnny Weir's costumes
 
Johnny Weir in a costume
which gave inspiration to
one of Victor's costumes
 
Yuri in his Eros costume, inspired by Johnny Weir's Carmen costume
 
 
Johnny Weir skating with a costume which inspired Yuri's Eros costume
 
Oh, by the way, did I say that Johnny Weir is also androphilic? Oh, and he has been married to a Russian man called Victor Voronov. On top of this, Johnny speaks Russian and some Japanese.
 
So, both John Cameron Mitchell (inspiration for Victor) and Johnny Weir (inspiration for a lot of the skating costumes) like men, and Stephen Trask (possible inspiration for Yuri) is rumoured to like men. Is it only me who feels like Kubo may have used androphilic men, for inspirations, on purpose?
 
So, there you have it all. I hope you liked this analysis!
 

 
TL;DR
Yuri on Ice will be shortened to YOI.
 
Sorry that the TL;DR is so long, I tried my best to make it as short as possible, but my analysis is so damn long and therefore it was really hard making it short. :/ But the TL;DR just 781 words, and the whole analysis is 15 893 words, so the TL;DR is only 5% of the complete analysis. I believe in you getting through the TL;DR! ^^
 
Not in any particular episode:
– YOI is one of the first non-yaoi anime having a same-sex relationship between two men.
 
Intro:
Lyrics contain "you set my heart on fire" which is from Victor's perspective.
– In the intro Victor and Yuri glance at each other and blow kisses at each other.
 
Outro:
Lyrics contain "You're so beautiful. Tonight I was entranced by you." which is Victor's perspective of the banquet.
Victor combs Yuri's hair.
Yuri and Victor wash each other's hair.
 
Episode 1:
Victor wants to take a photo with Yuri, because of the banquet.
 
Episode 2:
Victor flirts with Yuri.
Victor asks Yuri about his love-life.
 
Episode 3:
– Yuri thinks of Victor as hot.
Victor tries to seduce Yuri and he asks Yuri to try to find his eros side.
Yuri hugs Victor.
Victor says that he loves katsudon and is here referring to Yuri as the katsudon.
Yuri realizes that he skates for Victor and tries to seduce Victor.
Victor whistles because he thinks Yuri is sexy.
Victor hugs Yuri.
Victor puts an arm around Yuri.
In the "next episode" part Yuri says "Who'd even be happy to see me naked on ice?" and Victor answers "At the very least, I would be."
 
Episode 4:
Victor touches Yuri's naked body in the onsen. Not in a sexual way though.
– Victor asks Yuri if he wants to see Victor as his lover.
Victor says he's going to show his love to Yuri.
Yuri's skating theme is "love".
 
Episode 5:
Victor hugs Yuri and asks Yuri to seduce him.
Victor says Yuri is beautiful.
Victor puts lip balm on Yuri's lips.
Victor and Yuri hug.
Yuri's free skate program is about Victor.
Victor hugs Yuri.
Yuri says that Victor is the first person he has ever wanted to hold on to and he calls the feeling "love".
 
Episode 6:
Victor clings to Yuri throughout the episode.
Yuri thinks of making Victor his own.
Victor asks Yuri to seduce him.
Victor looks madly in love and flirts with Yuri.
 
Episode 7:
Victor looks madly in love and falls asleep on top of Yuri.
Victor asks if Yuri wants a kiss.
Yuri asks Victor to "Stay close of me", which is the name of Victor's free skate from previous year.
Yuri ends his skate about love with Victor's signature move.
– Victor kisses Yuri on the mouth.
– Victor and Yuri drown in each others' eyes and they look so in love.
Mitsuro Kubo, writer of YOI, confirms the kiss on Twitter.
 
Episode 8:
– Yuri seduces Victor.
– Victor kisses Yuri's skate.
 
Episode 9:
– Victor hugs Yuri.
– Yuri thinks of Victor during his whole skate.
– Yuri and Victor hug.
– Victor kisses Yuri's hand and says that he wishes he can be with Yuri forever.
 
Episode 10:
– Victor says that Yuri taught him about love.
– Victor jumps into Yuri's bed.
– Yuri winks to Victor (only on the DVD and BD).
– Victor and Yuri hold hands.
– Yuri buys gold wedding rings for 769.94 euro.
– Yuri and Victor put rings on each other's ring finger.
– Victor and Yuri walks with their arms around each other.
– Victor says the rings are engagement rings.
– Victor says that he and Yuri will marry when Yuri wins a gold medal.
– At the banquet Victor and Yuri couple danced and Victor got to see Yuri pole dance, and he falls in love with Yuri.
 
Episode 11:
– Victor kisses Yuri's ring, Victor kisses his own ring, and Yuri kisses his own ring.
– Flashback of Victor hugging Yuri.
 
Episode 12:
– Yuri makes Victor cry because Yuri wants to "end this".
– Yuri understands that Victor really likes him.
– Victor and Yuri almost kiss but it turns to laughs, happy crying and a hug.
– Yuri shows Victor his love for him, with his YOI skating program.
– Victor hugs Yuri.
– Yuri attack hugs and straddles Victor.
– Yuri and Victor stay sitting on the floor, with Yuri straddling Victor, even when the rink is empty except for the cleaners.
 
Epilogue:
– Yuri and Victor couple dance on the ice.
– Yuri and Victor brush lips two times.
– Yuri and Victor still wear their rings.
– "We call everything on the ice 'love'."
 
Bonus:
– Victor is partly inspired by John Cameron Mitchell, who is a man who likes men.
– Yuri may, partly, be inspired by Stephen Trask, who is a man who is rumoured to like men and rumoured to be together with John Cameron Mitchell. Stephen Trask and John Cameron Mitchell have kissed each other on the mouths several times in public.
– A lot of the skating costumes are inspired by Johnny Weir's skating costumes, and he's also a man who likes men. He has been married to a Russian man named Victor Voronov.
 
That's all! I hope you liked it! :3

Analysis of Yuri on Ice – Is Victuri Canon? – Part 1

SW: Yuri on Ice
 
If you haven't watched Yuri on Ice yet you should really do it before reading this post. Stop read now. There will be lots of spoilers below.
 
You can watch Yuri on Ice here: https://www.anime-planet.com/anime/yuri-on-ice/videos
 

 
Disclaimer: I do not own Yuri on Ice or any of its material. The pictures are screen shots from the anime.
 

 
First of all, this post will be in English, since I think Swedes in general accept these kinds of matters more than the general population of Earth, and English is the most international language I know.
 
I'll put a TL;DR in the end of part 2 of this analysis.
 
This post is about the ice skating anime Yuri on Ice, which was released in the end of 2016.

More exactly, this post is about the fact that there are two camps arguing about if "Victuri" (i.e. sexual and/or romantic love between Victor and Yuri) is canon (i.e. true according to the creators) or non-canon.
 
Therefore I just have to break this down. Because I get pretty annoyed by the group of people being like this:
 
"They are very good friends.", "NOT HOMO.",
"It's only a lucky churm.", "ONLY A LUCKY CHURM!"
 
Really?
 
Goth bless the naïve. Or something.
 
So, let's start from the beginning, kind of. Let's start from the beginning of the series, which is not the first time Victor encounter Yuri. But first we'll take a quick look at the intro and the outro.
 
The lyrics for the intro are:
Can you hear
my heartbeat?
Tired of feeling
never enough
I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true
 
There'll be no more darkness
when you believe in yourself, you are unstoppable
Where your destiny lies,
dancing on the blades,
you set my heart on fire
 
Don't stop us now, the moment of truth
We were born to make history
We'll make it happen, we'll turn it around
Yes, we were born to make history
 
And then it just repeats itself with the chorus.

Yeah, I know, these lyrics could be only about Yuri's depression or only about the skating. So this in itself is not a of proof that this is about love. But it could be partly about love. If I'm not mistaken the verse with "you set my heart on fire" is Victor's thoughts, since he's in picture there, and because it makes sense of what that verse is about, and the first verse is Katsuki Yuri's thoughts by the same reasoning. And this song is sure about making history, which this anime really did! It's one of the first non-yaoi anime with this kind of relationship between two men. *Applause*

"Woah, woah.", some of you say, "Yuri on Ice is yaoi, 'cause it's about two men in love."

Let's make a small side-track here...
 
Yuri on Ice is not yaoi.
 
Yaoi is a genre of manga and anime where men have sexual relationships. It contains a lot of explicit sex. Did you ever see Yuri and Victor having sex? No, exactly.
 
Also, in yaoi there's this stereotype of one man being "top" and one being "bottom", this is called "seme" and "uke" respectively. A lot of people argue that Victor is seme and Yuri is uke, because Victor is very straight forward towards Yuri when he first comes to Japan. But this is because Yuri showed his "eros side" (as Victor probably would say) at the banquet. More about the banquet later.
 
Anyhow, Yuri finds and shows his eros, that's pretty much the whole point of at least the first half of the anime. They're both "dominant" and both "submissive", because they are regular people in a regular setting in their regular lives. Of course people may be more dominant or more submissive as persons, but that's not the point with Yuri on Ice. They may have more of one of those two traits, but it is not the point. Yes, in Yuri on Ice they have a hard time communicating with each other about in which way they like each other, especially in the beginning, this doesn't mean that one or the other is dominant (Victor seems dominant in the beginning, because he's straight forward because of the banquet) or turn dominant (Yuri "becomes dominant" because he finds his eros) or whatever. They are just two men loving each other. Simple as that.

The dom-sub and seme-uke perspectives are just a heteronormative way of figuring out how homosexual men have sex, because people in general think that when there's a penis involved someone has to be penetrated. This is so heteronormative and stereotypical and just wrong that I just want to facepalm through my head. This heteronormative view of it, sees men as dominant and women as submissive, because penis penetrates vagina. When there's no vagina the heteronormativity finds this way of making it heteronormative by thinking of one of the (in this case) men as the submissive, as the substitute for the woman, as the substitute for the person with the vagina. Therefore the seme-uke stereotype is sexist and homophobic.
 
But of course it's okay to like yaoi and the seme-uke constellation. My point is just that Yuri on Ice is not yaoi and not seme-uke and in this case it's sexist and homophobic to call it yaoi and seme-uke.
 
So, the conclusion is that Yuri on Ice is not yaoi. It's just like any other romantic (sports) comedy (anime), just that it's with two men instead of the, oh so rare (*rolls eyes*), one man and one woman constellation.

Let's get back on track. The intro. Let's take a look at some screen shots from the intro.
 
My first screen shot is one where Victor and Yuri glance at each other. They look at each other during this entire scene. Victor and Yuri Plisetsky don't look at each other during the intro. Katsuki Yuri and Yuri Plisetsky don't look at each other during the intro. But Victor and Katsuki Yuri do.

Victor and Yuri glance at each other
 
Then we have these picture below. Doesn't it look very much like they are blowing kisses to each other?
 
Victor blows a kiss to Yuri
 
Yuri blows a kiss to Victor
 
Now, let's go for the outro before looking into the actual episodes.
 
The lyrics, translated into English (disclaimer: not translated by me, I have no idea how correct it is, I found it on the Yuri on Ice Wikia):
You Only Live Once
 
You're so beautiful
Tonight I was entranced by you
Even the hourglass stops
So take my breath away
Shining so bright
Your fighting form declared,
"We were born so that we could shine"
 
Waiting for the light,
I can't hear a thing
There's a shining butterfly
Amid the light
We mustn't fear being hurt so that we can shine
Shining all the while,
That's what you taught me!
 
Okay, someone clearly thinks someone else is beautiful. Cute! I think it might be Victor referring to the banquet, especially the line "Tonight I was entranced by you" makes me think this. The other verse might be Yuri thinking about his depression and how Victor made his life better, if we assume that the butterfly is supposed to represent Victor.

Let's look at some screen shots from the outro, too. This first one is of Victor combing Yuri's hair. He looks so calm and tender, like he really cares for Yuri.
 
Victor combs Yuri's hair
 
After this picture of Victor combing Yuri's hair there's a scene with Victor and Yuri playfully running at the beach. I couldn't really get any good screen shots of it since they're only both on screen too far away to see it's them. But if you see the whole scene you'll see it's them.
 
After this we have a scene of them showering together and washing each other's hair. Of course you can do this to someone who's not your lover, but I mean, look at Victor's eyes in the second picture. Is it only me or do you also think it looks like he's in love?
 
Yuri and Victor showering together
 
Now, let's start to dig into the first episode.
 
This first picture is of Victor wanting to take a commemorative photo with Yuri. A commemorative photo is something you take to remember something. Yuri doesn't want a photo with Victor, he probably thinks that Victor sees him as a fan and not as a fellow ice skater, because he doesn't remember the banquet, therefore he just walks away without saying a word.
 
Victor wants to take a photo with Yuri, but Yuri doesn't want to take a photo
 
If you watched the whole series (which you should have, if you're reading this analysis) then you might connect this moment even more to the banquet. Victor looks confused and torn in the second picture, because he doesn't understand why Yuri is acting so different from the banquet. He doesn't know that Yuri doesn't remember most of the banquet.
 
Then we get to know how big of a fan Yuri, and for that sake Yuko, are of Victor. Yuri has been a fan of Victor, since he was a child. Keep that in mind; Victor is Yuri's idol.
 
In the middle of the episode Yuri skates Victor's program for Yuko, and for the whole world, too, since Yuko's children film it and post it on the Internet. It goes viral, Victor sees it and he choose to become Yuri's coach.
 
Because you've seen the whole series you know that Yuri begged for Victor to become his coach, at the banquet. One year ago, at the final were they competed against each other, Yuri begged for Victor to become his coach and then Yuri doesn't want to take a picture with Victor. To make it all clear, the competition takes place before the banquet and the scene where Victor asks Yuri for a photo takes place after the banquet. Now, a year later, Yuri skates Victor's program, which probably makes Victor even more confused, but he probably sees it as a call, as it's time for him to become Yuri's coach. My hypothesis is that Victor both sees the potential in Yuri's skating and the opportunity to get to know Yuri better, which he wants to do because of the mixed signals Yuri gave him a year ago.
 
Then you all know about the scene where Victor shows up in Yuri's onsen. Victor thinks Yuri remembers the banquet, so he's straight forward.
 
A fun thing, which I just discovered, is that the "next episode" parts, just after the outro, are pretty funny. I never watch those, in any series, because I don't want any spoilers, but now that I've watched this series three times before, I thought I could watch those too, and I realized that in the "next episode" of the first episode we hear Yuri saying "Hasetu's great... Come and visit." in his "drunken at the banquet" voice. Such an Easter egg! So, I'm going to see what the "next episode" parts has more to share in later episodes.
 
If we jump right into episode 2 we'll see the same thing again with Victor being straight forward towards Yuri, this time it's more obvious though, Victor flirts with Yuri. He sensually touches Yuri's chin and hand, and he gets really confused when Yuri doesn't really seem to like it, because Victor still thinks Yuri remembers the banquet. Then he just continues to flirt with him, from time to time. For example he asks Yuri to sleep with him. Well, he obviously doesn't mean sleep as in having sex, I think that's a little bit too forward even for Victor, but what do I know. Anyway, he wants to sleep in Yuri's room, probably in Yuri's bed too since he only brings a pillow.
 
"Yuri, let's sleep together."
 
Then Yuri ponders about that they've barely even spoked, because he has put Victor on a pedestal, and he has no idea about why Victor is here, in his home, and even wants to sleep in the same room to get to know each other better, and Victor is there to help him with his skating career. Yuri is confused, but he's happy.
 
"My heart is pounding because of how happy I am."
 
I totally know this feeling. Yuri has a depression, even though he's probably almost out of it, but he has this feeling of happiness. When you're depressed you feel pretty numb, even when you actually are happy you don't really feel that happy, but then, from time to time, you get those moments where you feel happy for real, you feel blessed. I'm also depressed, and the first time that blessed happiness thing happened to me I felt so happy that I couldn't grasp it. It was like something precious was given back to me. I'm sure that's exactly what Yuri feels in this moment. His idol starts to live with him, he will even have him as a coach, so he can now think of the future as fortunate again. Also, maybe there's an undertone here about him kind of having a crush on Victor.
 
After this Yuri starts to exercise again, because he really wants Victor to coach him. During one of those exercise occasions Victor starts to ask Yuri about his love-life.
 
First Victor asks if Yuri has feelings for Minako, which he denies, then Victor asks about if Yuri has a partner/lover or an ex-partner/ex-lover, which Yuri doesn't want to talk about.
 
Anyway, there's a pretty big translation error here, if you ask me. Victor asks Yuri if he has a koibito or former koibito, which is translated to "girlfriend" in the subs. The word "koibito" (こいびと) is gender neutral. Victor doesn't ask Yuri if he has a girlfriend, he asks Yuri if he has a lover and he doesn't mention this potential lover's gender. Victor also suggest they should talk about his exes, here translated to "ex-girlfriend" even though Victor says "koibito" even here.
 
And, on top of this, they use "koibito" throughout the anime. For example, in a scene of episode 4, Mila asks Yuri Plisetsky if he went to Japan to find a koibito, but this is also translated to "girlfriend". Another example is when JJ talks about his girlfriend, he says koibito even though he knows she's a girl so he could've used "kanojo" (girlfriend).
 
"Do you have a girlfriend lover?"
 
The writer of Yuri on Ice, Mitsuro Kubo, wrote this on her Twitter in December 2016 (disclaimer, this is not my translation, I have no idea about how correct it is):
“No matter what real people think about this anime, within its world no one is ever going to be discriminated against because of what they like. And that is something I will always protect.”
 
She basically says that there's no such thing as homophobia in the Yuri on Ice universe. Basically, people here are seen as bi-/pansexual until proven otherwise, instead of "the other" way around. Therefore they talk about lovers/partners (koibito), not about girlfriends (kanojo) and boyfriends (kareshi). Yes, there are Japanese gendered words for partners too, so it's not like they only have one word for it, they could've used kanojo and kareshi instead of koibito, but the thing is: they didn't.
 
Later on, Victor, Yuko and Takeshi watches Yuri skate by himself. Here is where everything changes from Victor's point of view. Well, he still doesn't know about Yuri not remembering most of the banquet, but he grasps a little bit of why Yuri isn't like he was at the banquet.
 
Takeshi: "Skating aside, he's not good at putting himself out there."
 
"Skating aside, he's not good at putting himself out there.", that's the spell to make Victor to better understand Yuri. Because Victor saw Yuri putting himself out there, at the banquet.
 
Yuko: "I hope Victor will bring out a side of Yuri-kun that we've never seen before."
 
Yuko and Takeshi have never seen the side of Yuri which Victor saw at the banquet. Victor gets it. Yuri didn't act as himself during the banquet, because he was drunk.
 
Victor: "Thanks. I know a lot more about Yuri now."
 
That's it, for this episode, but what do we have in the "next episode" part this time? We have Victor saying "I wonder, which of you will be able to satisfy me?" when they show a picture from when Victor is in the onsen, and then Yuri answers "I'll satisfy you for sure!" with the scene were Victor touches Yuri's lip. I love how they play with what the next episode is about.
 
Naughty...
 
Now, let's take a look at episode 3.
 
When Victor skates Yuri's eros program Yuri thinks of Victor as hot. Well, Yuko also does by the way.
 
Yuri thinks Victor is hot
 
And after this we see the last time Victor tries to seduce Yuri. From here on he tries to flirt with Yuri in other ways. My hypothesis is that when Victor talked to Yuko and Takeshi he really got the point that Yuri isn't good at putting himself out there. Yuko said that she wanted Victor to bring out a side of Yuri that they've never seen before. Because Victor knows this side of Yuri, from the banquet, and he wants to bring out that side of Yuri again, he tries to be more careful about the way he flirts with Yuri, after this scene. One reason to why he gave Yuri the eros program instead of the agape program is because he wants to bring out that side of Yuri again.
 
Victor: "No one in the whole wide world knows your true eros, Yuri.
It may be an alluring side of you that you yourself are unaware of.
Can you show me what it is soon?"
 
Then, when Yuri is going to compete with his eros program for the first time he gives Victor a hug and tells Victor to keep his eyes on him. This is their first hug by the way.
 
Yuri: "I'm going to become a super tasty katsudon,
so please don't take your eyes off me. Promise!
Victor: "Of course. I love katsudon."
 
I changed the translation a little bit, to "don't take your eyes off me", since that's closer to the Japanese phrase, at least I've read that in a Reddit thread.
 
When Yuri tells Victor that he'll be a super tasty katsudon and asks Victor to keep his eyes on him Victor answers "Of course. I love katsudon.". Victor sounds partly a bit sad over the fact that Yuri still thinks of katsudon when showing his eros program, since that wasn't what Yuri showed at the banquet, but he also says to Yuri that he loves him. Yuri just said he was the katsudon, and Victor answered by referring to Yuri as the katsudon.
 
When Yuri starts his performance it's obvious that he doesn't think at all about katsudon, though. He thinks of Victor.
 
Yuri: "Who am I dancing for? I know who."
*Victor whistles*

After Yuri has asked himself who he dances for he turns his gaze towards Victor and gives him a seducing look. Victor whistles. Here is the first moment Yuri shows his seductive side, the side which Victor has already seen at the banquet.
 
Yuri got help from Minako to find this side of him. To his eros program there's a story about a playboy coming to a town and falls in love with a woman. The woman is first not interested in him, but after a while she gets interested. But after a while together the playboy leaves her. Sounds familiar?
 
Yuri: "Trying to be the playboy isn't me.
I want to be the most beautiful woman in town, who seduces the playboy!
 
Yuri thought of himself as the playboy when he practiced his eros program, but he realizes he is not the playboy, he's the woman seducing the playboy. He skates for Victor, because Victor is the playboy in Yuri's story. Victor came to Yuri because he was interested in Yuri. Yuri is first not interested, he feels intimidated when Victor is close to him. Then he starts to get some interest in Victor and he gets less and less intimidated by him. But, Yuri is worried that Victor will leave him, that Victor won't become his coach, that Victor will go back to Russia and instead become the coach of Yuri Plisetsky. That's the part of the story where the playboy leaves the woman.
 
After Yuri's first competition performance Victor gets really happy from that Yuri finally has found his eros. He never gave Yuri Plisetsky a hug after his performance, even though he really liked how Yuri Plisetsky had grown and found his agape, but he gives Katsuki Yuri a big and friendly hug. The hug really says "I love you", but if he means as in platonic love or as in romantic love is not possible to say here. Anyway, since Yuri hugged him before the performance he now knows how close Yuri he can come without intimidating him.
 
Victor gives Yuri a hug
 
Yuri ends up as the winner of the Onsen on Ice competition. On the podium he's nervous about talking to the press, but then Victor puts an arm around him as a gesture to show him that he's there by his side and, again, Victor would probably not do this if Yuri hadn't opened up with the hug just before the performance.
 
Yuri realizes that Victor will stay by his side.
 
In the "next episode" part after this episode we have a terrific exchange of words with Yuri asking "Who'd even be happy to see me naked on ice?" and Victor answers "At the very least, I would be.", that's just fantastic, I love this! Victor obviously has a crush on Yuri, don't you think?
 
Victor wouldn't mind seeing Yuri skate naked
 
On to episode 4. Oh Gosh, I'm only a quarter of the way through this. This post is going to become long. Gomen, gomen... ^^' But as a said earlier, there'll be a TL;DR in the end of part 2.
 
Victor: "I was drawn to you because of the music...
The way you skate like your body is creating music."
 
In the beginning of the episode Victor tells Yuri that he was drawn to him because of the way he skates is like his body creates music. Well, I guess that's partly true, that may be based on the video that actually drawn Victor to Japan, but why he reacted that much when watching that video must've been because of the banquet, and how Yuri dances like his body creates music, right?
 
Then Victor helps Yuri to stretch, while they're both naked in the onsen.
 
After this, Yuri and Victor calls Yuri's former coach, Celestino. Celestino tells Victor that Yuri never had confidence in himself while he was Yuri's coach. Victor has, as you know, heard this from Takeshi and Yuko too, so this just empathise it further, and probably making Victor more understanding to why Yuri is not acting as he did at the banquet.
 
Celestino: "Yuri never had confidence in himself."
 
Later on we have this scene, similar to a scene of episode 2, where Victor asks Yuri to sleep with him, still not as in having sex of course, just as sleep in the same room, but this time it seems like Victor is inviting Yuri to sleep in his room, which he probably does to not intimidate Yuri too much as he would if they slept in Yuri's room, is my guess. Yuri dismisses the invitation again.
 
Victor: "Yuri, let's go to sleep together."
 
Then we have a very important scene, in which Victor understands even further why Yuri doesn't act as he did at the banquet.
 
Yuri: "There was a girl in Detroit who was really pushy and kept talking to me. [...]
When she hugged me to comfort me, I shoved her away without thinking about it.
[...] It felt like she was intruding on my feelings or something.
But then I realized that Minako-sensei, Nishigori, Yuko-chan, and my family [...]
they never stepped over the line.
 
When Victor hears this he decides to try what would happen if he asks Yuri what their relationship is. The last of the options he gives is if Yuri sees Victor as a koibito, here translated to "boyfriend". But here I find it very important to also translate it to koibito, because that gives more weight to it, since they've said "koibito" throughout the series so far.
 
Victor: "Then, your lover, I guess."
 
Yuri reacts like he's getting very intimidated by this question, and Victor looks a bit surprised about the reaction. Then Yuri explains that he sees Victor as an idol, and he want to keep it that way, and he says that he feels a bit bad about that he has ignored Victor before, but he'll make up to Victor by his skating. Then Victor says that he won't let off Yuri easy with the skating, which, Victor says, is his way of showing his love towards Yuri. After this Yuri thinks to himself that Victor will meet him where he is, when he opens up more to Victor.
 
Yuri: "I've always looked up to you. [...]
I'll make it up to you with my skating."
Victor: "Okay, I won't let you off easy, then.
That's my way of showing my love."
 
 Yuri: "When I open up, he meets me where I am.
I shouldn't be afraid to open up more!"
 
The next really important scene is when Victor and Yuri are training some skating and Victor gets tired way earlier than Yuri. Let's break this scene down, because, from what I've seen and heard, I think a lot of people misunderstands it.
 
Yuri: "Victor, please let me do that one more time!"
Victor: "Wow... Hasn't it been tens of thousands of times?
I've thought this for a while, but you have pretty good stamina."
*Yuri pokes Victor's head*
 
Victor tells Yuri that Yuri has good stamina, implying that he himself has not as good stamina as Yuri. After this Yuri looks a lot at Victor's head, which is pretty much the only part of Victor to look at when Victor is bent over to take off ice from his skates. This is the only part of Victor that Yuri sees from his, standing, perspective. Yuri is really confused about how easy Victor became tired, it's like he's thinking "Wait, Victor is actually a human being, not a 'super human'.", and he pokes Victor's head, just because he has to check that Victor is real and he's not dreaming or something. He's not poking some bald spot on Victor's head, it's just that Victor, just the second before, says "You're younger than I am." and therefore Victor mistakes Yuri for poking a, probably, non-existent bald spot on his head. So the real message of this scene is that Yuri realizes Victor is like any other human being, Victor is not out of reach and untouchable, and my hypothesis is that this is the moment where Yuri starts to look at Victor more like an equal than an idol. This is why the beach scene was just two minutes before this scene, we needed Yuri to really explain that he looks up to Victor before Yuri realizes that Victor is just as anyone else. This is the moment where Yuri starts to feel more comfortable around Victor. For example we have a scene, just a little while later, where Yuri has no problems to literally jump into Victor's bed, just to let Victor hear the new music his acquaintance has made for him.
 
Yuri jumps into Victor's bed, while Victor is sleeping,
just to let Victor hear the new music.
 
Yuri tells Victor that the new theme for his skating program is going to be about his love, instead of about his skating career as it was first supposed to be. Victor likes the theme.
 
Yuri tells Victor that his skating theme is love and Victor likes the theme
 
When Yuri and his friends and family gets to know where he will compete, his family and friends starts to talk about how Yuri is going to get known as the person who stole Victor from the skating world. Victor doesn't know what they're talking about, since they all speak Japanese and Victor doesn't know any Japanese, but Victor sees that Yuri becomes uncomfortable about something and tries to comfort him by leaning against Yuri's shoulder in a way that says "Don't worry, I'm here to protect you".
 
 Victor leans against Yuri to comfort him
 
Yuri starts to really feel that he's not fighting by his own. He has his family and friends, and he's especially delightful for Victor helping him to have come this far, and he wants Victor to stay as long as possible.
 
Yuri: "Until now, I thought I was fighting all by myself.
But now that Victor's here, that's totally changed.
Now everything feels so new.
I may never be able to regain what I've lost,
but I can clearly see what's in front of me now."
 
Yuri: "I don't know how long Victor will stick around. [...]
So please, God... Give me Victor's time, if only just for now."
 
That was episode 4. Now it starts to get really interesting with Yuri finding Victor being more of an equal than an idol, and the competitions starts. Victor came to Japan five months ago, so it's not weird that their relationship has evolved, but let's see how much it has evolved so far, in episode 5.
 
When Yuri is going onto the ice for his first real competition with Victor as his coach, Victor wants to give Yuri something to wish him luck. Here we have a pretty important translation error again... Victor doesn't say "What should I say", he says "What should I do", and let us look into why this is important. Well, it's not totally wrong to translate it to "say", it makes a little sense, but half of the message is lost since Victor both want to do something and say something.
 
Victor: "As your coach, what should I do before sending you off to the program?
What I'm thinking of right now is..."
*Yuri ignores Victor*
Yuri: "Why is Victor getting all prickly?"
*Victor demands Yuri to turn around and then he hugs Yuri from behind*
Victor: "Seduce me with all you have."
 
There we have it! Victor wanted to hug Yuri and he wanted to tell Yuri to seduce him. Rawr! Then we even have a flashback to another time Victor asks Yuri to seduce him.
 
Victor: "Yuri, dance more like you're trying to seduce me."
 
And Yuri is his normal, cringy self when he thinks of seducing Victor. At least he thinks of seducing men, and Victor is a man, so well, he's not too far away from what Victor wants from him here.
 
Yuri: "I'm a katsudon fatale that enthrals men."
 
When Yuri is off to his second skating Victor tells him he looks beautiful and then he puts some lip balm on Yuri's lips, because that's something Yuri can't do himself, right? :P And then they hug.
 
Victor: "You look beautiful in it. Oh, your lips are chapped"
*Victor applies lip balm on Yuri's lips and then they hug*
 
Then we have this part where Victor is thinking about Yuri's program while Yuri skates. This is to tell us what the program means, and it basically is about Victor, but Victor is not too enthusiastic about how Yuri skates since he thinks to himself that it looks like Yuri didn't like at all when Victor appeared in Yuri's home. Then the part comes where Yuri started to realize what love is, and somewhere here Yuri starts to change his program a little here and there. Victor thinks of whom Yuri takes after to be rebellious toward his coach, and then Victor realizes that Yuri takes after him, so it's not that strange after all. This part where Yuri starts to be rebellious is actually pretty important, from my point of view, he would never do this when he only saw Victor as his idol rather than his equal. When Victor realized Yuri took after him he offers Yuri a hug, which Yuri becomes really, really happy about, so Yuri literally flings himself towards Victor, whom, sadly, doesn't catch him because Yuri is nose-bleeding. Anyway, Yuri gets a hug from Victor anyway, right after this.
 
Victor explains what Yuri's program is representing,
but he's not that happy about how Yuri doesn't look happy at all
for the part representing when Victor came to Japan.
 
Victor realizes that Yuri takes after him.
Yuri has the courage to be rebellious towards Victor
now that he sees Victor more as an equal rather than an idol.
 
Victor offers Yuri a hug, which Yuri gets really happy about,
he's so happy that he even cries, looks desperate and flings himself towards Victor,
unfortunately, for Yuri, Victor doesn't catch him,
but then Victor gives Yuri a hug anyway.
 
At the press conference, where the skaters announce their themes for their skating programs, Yuri announces that his theme will be "love". He also tells them that Victor is the first person he has ever wanted to hold on to, and he doesn't know what to call this feeling, but he has decided to call it love, and he declares that, now that he knows what love is, he's stronger for it. Sadly, Victor, who's watching the press conference on TV, has no idea about what Yuri is talking about, since Yuri is here talking Japanese, and Victor doesn't know much Japanese. So instead of commenting on the fact that Yuri declares he, kind of, loves Victor, Victor comments on Yuri's tie, which, by the way, may be the same tie he had at the banquet, it's hard to tell because that it's different background lights at the press conference and at the banquet.
 
Yuri declares his love to Victor,
but Victor doesn't understand this since he doesn't know Japanese.
 
In episode 6 Yuri and Victor go to China, and are hugging a lot, or, well, Victor is very clingy, but Yuri doesn't mind.
 
Yuri and Victor share a blanket when they sleep at the plane
 
Victor is clingy when they go to eat dinner, and drink...
Phichit is obviously the captain of the Victuri ship...
 
By the way, some may have wondered why Chris, whom Yuri has barely talked to before, thinks he can touch Yuri's bottom. Well, as you might know by now, Chris and Yuri pole danced together at the banquet. Also, I think Chris might have a crush on Yuri, but then again, I think Chris has crushes on everything, for example the ice.
 
Yuri competes, and he thinks of making Victor his own, both before and during the skate.
 
"I want to be hated as the man who took Victor from the whole world!"
 
Victor: "The time to seduce me by picturing katsudon
and women during your skate is over."
*Victor rubs his right finger on Yuri's hand*
*Yuri clasps Victor's hand*
Yuri: "Don't ever take your eyes off me."
Victor (thinking): "He's far too different today."
 
When Yuri clasps Victor's hand and tell Victor to not take his eyes off him, Victor thinks of how different Yuri has become. Maybe because of how clingy drunk Victor was the day before, but absolutely because Yuri has realized further what loving someone means and, as I said several times already, Yuri sees Victor more as an equal now. Yuri wants to be known as the man who took Victor from the whole world.
 
Yuri licks his upper lip just in the beginning of his skate.
Victor seems to like what he sees, since his eyes shines and such.
 
"I'm the only one who can satisfy Victor.
I'm the only one in the whole world who knows Victor's love."
 
Yuri also seems to have realized how much Victor likes him, and that he's the only one Victor wants.
 
After Yuri's skate, Victor becomes clingy again.
 
Victor clings to Yuri, ruffles Yuri's hair, blushes and flirts.
 
Is it only I who thinks Victor looks madly in love when he clings to Yuri and tells him about how good his performance was? No? I thought so.
 
I actually looked up some blogs and Reddit threads about this scene, and it seems like Victor is talking like one would do during sex. He says this in a hinting way, and a better translation would be something like "Of course they’d feel good after being treated with such a display."
 
Then Victor continues to cling to Yuri throughout the episode.
 
Victor is really clingy in this episode
 
And the episode ends with Yuri telling the world about how he and Victor will win with the power of love.
 
Yuri tells everybody that he and Victor will win with the power of love
 
Now we'll look at the episode of episodes, well, maybe that's episode 10, but episode 7 is also kind of the episode of episodes. Now I'm halfway through this analysis, I hope you'll have the energy to stay 'til the end.
 
A lot happens in episode 7! I took 48 screen shots... But I'll not use all of them, I just took some extra screen shots to have more pictures to choose from.
 
Anyway, episode 7 starts with a clingy Victor, who could've guessed? :P
 
The first picture is also one of those moments where Victor looks madly in love. He tucks in Yuri, and then he falls asleep on top of him.
 
Is Victor in love?
 
Victor falls asleep on top of Yuri
 
Yuri can't sleep with Victor on top of him, so he gets really tired and nervous about the competition. Therefore Victor has to help Yuri to calm down. Chris thoughts about how Victor never has protected someone, before, in the way he protects Yuri.
 
Chris (thinking): "It's not like you to leave the ice
and find someone you want to protect, Victor.
 
The problem is that Victor has no idea how to calm Yuri down. Therefore he choose to try what happens if he intimidates Yuri by pretending he's going to leave Yuri if Yuri doesn't get a place on the podium this time. This threat makes Yuri really sad since he has thought that Victor maybe wants to leave him, so even though Yuri understands that Victor just wants to scare him, he gets really sad. Why he gets this sad is because he already has a panic attack about to burst out.
 
Victor: "Skaters' hearts are as fragile as glass.
If their hearts are so fragile... Let's try shattering his into pieces."
Evil Victor...
 
Victor shatters Yuri's heart and Yuri starts to cry
 
Victor tries to apologize,
and Yuri explains that he's afraid that Victor wants to quit as his coach.
 
When Yuri tells Victor that he has been afraid of that Victor wants to leave, Victor really doesn't know what to do. Since he shattered Yuri's heart he thinks of something completely opposite. Victor asks if he can comfort Yuri by kissing him. This suggests that Victor has an interest in kissing Yuri.
 
 Victor: "Should I just kiss you or something?"
 
Yuri doesn't want a kiss, he thinks it's stupid of Victor to first be so mean and then try to make up to him with that suggestion. He doesn't want Victor to say or do anything, he just wants to know that Victor believes he can get to the podium. Actually, when Yuri, according to the subtitles, say "Stand by me" he's actually saying "Stay close to me", which is the name of Victor's program from last time Yuri was in the final.
 
Yuri: "Just have more faith that I do that I'll win!
You don't have to say anything. Just stay close to me!"
 
Just before Yuri start his program he makes Victor catch his tissue, which makes Yuri able to see Victor from above. Yuri pokes Victor on his head, as he did in episode 4, and then he pats Victors head. I think this is Yuri's way of telling himself that he still knows that Victor is a real person and an equal, and I think the pat is a way of telling himself that Victor is not his idol anymore but only his equal. And the pat is also a way to tell Victor that he's protective of him, since the first thing Victor did when Yuri poked his head the first time was to cover it with his hand to protect it. Yuri shows that he knows Victor has things he's insecure about, but that's nothing he will make a fuss about, he just want Victor to stay who he is and he wants to protect him.
 
Yuri pokes and pats Victor's head.
Yuri doesn't see Victor as his idol anymore,
he sees him solely as another human being, an equal.
 
So, how did this happen? When exactly did Yuri start to see Victor as only an equal? This is something which started in episode 4, when Yuri started to see Victor more as an equal than an idol, and it continued until now when he stopped to see Victor as an idol. When Victor showed that he had no idea of how to comfort and calm Yuri, that's when Yuri got the last piece he needed to make Victor his equal. He even think "Stupid Victor!", which you would probably not do about an idol. Well, of course you can think an idol is stupid, but the thing is that you often do so when you stops to idolize them and/or when you start to see them as a human being who can make mistakes.
 
Yuri: "I feel a lot better after crying.
Victor's expression when I started to cry was priceless.
It's not like my mental weakness started just now.
He should be prepared for this much. Stupid Victor!
 
Yuri continues to think of Victor during his skate, and he realizes he can test Victor in an opposite way of how Victor tested Yuri. Victor shattered Yuri's heart a little. Yuri does this next move to put his heart back together by testing Victor's reaction by said move. He wants to show what his program is really about, love. In episode 5 Victor gave us the insight in Yuri's free skate program. The program is a timeline from when Yuri felt like he was fighting alone, and it continues until today. The program is about Yuri's love, that's the theme he chose, and he choose to put Victor's signature move in the very end of his skate, to tell Victor that this is where he's now, this is how far he has come on understanding love. He has realized that Victor is not his idol anymore, Victor is someone he loves in another way than you love an idol, he loves him in a way where he wants to protect him and care for him. He wants to tell Victor that he loves him, so he puts Victor's signature move in the end of his skate about love.
 
Yuri: "Oh, I wonder how Victor would react
if I made the last quad a flip instead of a toe loop.
I can surpass Victor's wildest imaginations!"
Commentator: "I-it's a quadruple flip!"
*Victor gasps and blushes.*
Commentator: "The quadruple flip was a signature move
of Victor Nikiforov, his coach."
*Yuri reaches out his hand towards Victor.*
 
When Yuri has ended his program he reaches out his hand towards Victor and wonders why Victor covers his face. Yuri turns away to thank the audience. When Yuri turns back to Victor, Victor is running to him. Yuri gets really happy about this and flings himself towards Victor, whom answers by flinging himself back and knocks Yuri down on the ice, with a kiss.
 
Yuri (thinks): "Is he crying? Is he mad? Which is it?"
Victor is totally overwhelmed.
 
Victor runs to Yuri
 
Yuri realizes that Victor runs to him
(Oh Gosh, he's so cute here, I can't handle it.)
 
Yuri gets happy and skates flingingly towards Victor
 
Yuri: "I did great, right?"
Victor nods and flings himself at Yuri.
 
Victor kiss Yuri
 
Some of you may now be like "That's not a kiss. It's a hug. No homo, etc etc."
 
No, you're wrong. It is a kiss. Yuri confessed his love for Victor, by ending his skate, which is a timeline of his love, with Victor's signature move. Victor gasped and blushed when he saw this. Their lips are in the centre of the field of view right before the kiss. Yuri, who's not really prepared for this, widen his eyes. Victor closes his eyes, as you usually do when you kiss. The audience gets all quiet and most people gasps. "Oh my Gosh, it's a hug!" *Gasp!*, no... The whole audience wouldn't gasp that much for a hug. Of course they may gasp because they're surprised about how Victor literally knocks Yuri down, but listen to the cheers when Victor and Yuri land on the ice, people cheer a way lot more than they did to Yuri right after his skate. Why would they cheer that much to a hug really?

Also, Mitsurou Kubo, the writer of Yuri on Ice, wrote the following on her Twitter, the week episode 7 of Yuri on Ice aired, "今週の逃げ恥と何かシンクロするものを感じたのは気のせいかな", which says "Is it my imagination or was it something that synchronised with this week’s Nigehaji?". In that week's Nigehaji, which is a live-action series in Japan, the main characters kissed. Hmm, what could she mean... Of course she's talking about the kiss, duh. She basically confirms the kiss.
 
"Okay, but that's not proof that it was a kiss. They didn't show the actual kiss.". No, of course they didn't. This is one of the first non-yaoi anime with this kind of relationship between two men. This is a controversial topic. Japan is a really homophobic country. You probably can't imagine how bad it is. Yaoi is seen as okay because it's looked upon as just being forbidden fantasies, and you already know that Yuri on Ice is not yaoi. If you don't believe that Japan is a homophobic country, watch this documentary by Ellen Page: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3vzauc.
 
Victor and Yuri lands on the ice and drown in each other's eyes
 
Look at how they totally drown in each other's eyes! If that's not a sign of love then I don't know what is.
 
In episode 8, though, not very much lovey-dovey happens between Victor and Yuri. At least not as much as in previous episodes.
 
In the beginning of the episode we see Yuri being a bit nervous about what would happen if he doesn't make it to the final, "If I don't, what will Victor do?", so even though Victor assured Yuri about that he wasn't serious about leaving Yuri if Yuri don't go all the way to the final, Yuri worries about this.
 
Before Yuri's first skate in the Rostelecom Cup Victor ties Yuri's skates. We have never seen him doing this before, but we have seen Yuri tying his own skates a bunch of times, so we know Yuri is totally able to tie his own skates. Victor shows that he cares for Yuri by helping him with his skates.
 
Victor ties Yuri's skates
 
After this, when Yuri just has entered the ice, Yuri surprises Victor by pulling him by his tie and telling him that the performance already has begun. Well, Yuri begins the performance just there, by trying to seduce Victor. Victor answers by "そう です ね" ("Sou desu ne"), which here would better be translated to "Oh, I see.", rather than the subtitles "You're right.", since this is the moment Victor understands what actually happens, he understands that Yuri tries to seduce him before the actual program has started. Then Yuri tells Victor that he'll show his love [of Victor] to the whole of Russia.
 
Naughty Yuri: "The performance has already begun, Victor."
Victor: "Oh, I see."
Yuri: "I'll show my love to the whole of Russia."
 
In the beginning of Yuri's skate he blows a kiss to the audience, and, oh, how I wish we could've had seen Victor's reaction to this.
 
Yuri blows a kiss to the audience
 
During Yuri's skate we again see him worry about how long Victor will stay by his side. Just as he did in the beginning of the episode he thinks about what would happen if he lose.
 
Yuri: "If I lose the Rostelecom Cup,
this may become the last time I can skate this program
with Victor at my side as my coach."
 
After Yuri's performance Victor kisses Yuri's skate. It's not very common to kiss someone's skates, or feet nevertheless. If you kiss someone's feet it's seen as very intimate, today. In some other cases it may be seen as something you do to show a person that you have lower rank than them, but that's not very common nowadays.
 
Victor is kissing Yuri's skate to show Yuri that he cares for him and is close to him. Also, this might be a way of saying "I'll do whatever you want." or "I'm yours.", as someone with a lower rank could do to someone with higher rank.
 
 Victor kisses Yuri's skate
 
Now it's only a third of the episodes left. Are you convinced that Victor and Yuri love each other? No? Let's continue either way.
 
In episode 9 Yuri and Victor are separated from each other for most of the episode. Victor has to go to Japan to take care of his dog Makkachin, whom almost choked.
 
When they separate Victor gives Yuri a hug and says "Even if I'm not here, I'll always be with you in spirit."
 
 Victor hugs Yuri to say goodbye
 
Yuri thinks of Victor during all of his skate. Well, not only there, he thinks of Victor the whole episode. He even cries because of how much he misses Victor by his side.
 
Yuri cries
 
Yuri thinks of when Victor came into his life
 
Yuri: "I'm the one who loves this program Victor and I made
the most in the whole world!"
 
Even the audience can see Yuri showing his love, and their friends understand that it's Yuri's love for Victor.
 
Commentator: You can feel Katsuki Yuri's love,
a love he can only express on the ice"
Victor and Yuri's skating friends understand that it's Yuri's love for Victor
 
Mila: "When you think of how it could've been with Victor here,
you really want to see that, right?"
 
Yuri found this his toughest competition performance so far, because he, obviously, since he thought of Victor during his whole skate, wants Victor there to support him.
 
Yuri misses Victor
 
Even JJ can see the love between Victor and Yuri, even though he can't see why because Yuri is 'no king'. For Victor it doesn't matter if Yuri's a 'king' or not, I mean, Victor fell in love with a drunk Yuri at the banquet, which was right after Yuri came last in the final.
 
 JJ: "Yuri Katsuki, Victor may have chosen you,
but you're no king."
 
Then Yuri proceeds to hug basically everyone he come across, because Victor is not there to hug him. He has become so used to get hugs from Victor by now.
 
Yuri hugs Yakov, Sara, Michele, Emil, Seung-Gil and JJ.
He also tries to hug Yuri Plisetsky, but it's not shown if he succeed.
 
Despite that he misses Victor he thinks of having Victor to step down as his coach after the Grand Prix Final. Then Yuri Plisetsky knocks Katsuki Yuri down and says "You can make an excuse that you couldn't do your best because Victor wasn't there.", and he's totally right about that this is the reason Katsuki Yuri couldn't do his best.
 
After this we have the airport scene, the scene where Yuri and Victor reunites. Take a look at Yuri's eyes when he spots Victor. Then they literally run for each other, and they hug.
 
Yuri spots Victor
 
Yuri and Victor run towards each other
 
Victor and Yuri hug
 
Yuri tells Victor that he wants Victor to be his coach until he retire from skating. Victor says that it sounds like a marriage proposal, to which Yuri first looks a bit surprised, like he just realizes something, but then he gives Victor a loving smile. Victor says he wish Yuri will never retire, because Victor wants to be with Yuri forever.
 
Yuri: "Please be my coach until I retire!"
*Victor kisses Yuri's hand.*
Victor: "It's almost like a marriage proposal. I wish you'd never retire."
 
Then Yuri realizes that he thinks of retiring after the Grand Prix Final, so he starts to cry and hardens the hug, because he doesn't want Victor to leave him, which he still thinks Victor will.
 
Yuri cries because he has thought of retiring after this skating season.
 
The episode ends there, with their hug, and proceeds to the "next episode" part, where Victor says "Oh, right. It's almost Christmas. What are you going to give me Yuri?" and Yuri answers "Something round and golden." to which Victor answers with just "Wow!". Victor probably thinks Yuri refers to the gold medal, but we know Yuri refers to the golden ring.
 
In the beginning of episode 10, which is the episode of episodes, as I said when I wrote about episode 7, it starts with Victor thinking of life and love, and how Yuri has taught him the meaning of those two words.
 
By the way, I took 84 screen shots from episode 10. I will try to not put all of them here since that would be kind of bananas of me.
 
Victor thinks about how Yuri have taught him about life and love
 
Then Victor describes Yuri as a sleeping beauty, and mentions that it's eight months since he came to Hasetsu. They've known each other for eight months, no wonder they have become so close by now when they even live together.
 
Victor: "And among the six qualifiers for the final,
the last one, who made it by a hair's width,
is this jet-lagged sleeping beauty, Katsuki Yuri from Japan."
 
When Yuri wakes up the first thing he thinks is "Where is Victor?", because he basically think of Victor all the time. Then he proceeds to think of how he said "Now that I know what love is and I'm stronger for it, I'll prove it to myself with a Grand Prix gold medal." as he reaches towards Victor bed, and he says "Help me, Victor.". It's obvious that he doesn't trust himself that much anymore when it comes to winning a gold medal, and he needs Victor to be there and support him to make it even slightly possible. This makes sense as we saw in last episode how he couldn't skate with Victor not being there to support him, even though he had Victor on his mind the whole time and Victor had said "Even if I'm not here, I'll always be with you in spirit." before they separated for those one or two days.
 
Yuri needs Victor by his side
 
He doesn't need to wait long for Victor though, since he, and Chris for that sake, suddenly comes from the pool and jumps into Yuri's bed.
 
Victor, and Chris..., but yeah, especially Victor, are happy to see Yuri
 
The day after, Yuri wants Victor to take him sightseeing, since Yuri has never been to Barcelona before. In this scene they've changed a small detail for the DVD and Blu-ray. When Yuri asks Victor to take him on sightseeing Victor looks surprised, then Yuri winks (only on the DVD and BD) to Victor. Sorry I couldn't get a picture in better quality, of Yuri winking, but I have neither the DVD nor the BD, so I had to take one I found on Google.
 
Yuri wants Victor to take him on sightseeing in Barcelona, and he gives Victor a wink
 
And here, look at them holding hands when shopping in Barcelona. I mean, you can hold hands with a platonic loved one, but it's mostly something you do with someone you feel romantic love to. Or maybe your child, and none of them are the other's child of course.
 
Yuri and Victor hold hands
 
When they're shopping Yuri sees a jewellery store. Look at his reaction on these pictures. In the second picture you can really see how he realizes that he can propose for and engagement with Victor, look at how much he blushes (even the ears) and it looks like he feels a cold sweat at the same time.
 
Yes, it's an engagement, I'll explain this further as we go through all these pictures about the rings.
 
Yuri realizes that he can get engaged with Victor

Yuri becomes excited and reacts on impulse. Victor is confused.
 
And look at this picture below. Look at what he buys! I know, the picture is not the best quality, but this was the best picture I could get. I can't see the first word though, it might be "Pair" but I'm not sure, it could just be the brand of the rings, I have no idea. If someone get their hands on the BD, please tell what it says, since the BD will be in better quality! Anyway, after this mysterious word which might be "Pair" it says "Gold Wedding Ring" and they cost 769.94 euro (or is it 768.94?), that's, like, a lot. 769.94 EUR is about 905 USD, 706 GBP, 98 961 JPY, 7338 SEK. Woah! Yuri even tells that he'll pay in instalments, which gives us a guess that he doesn't have enough money to pay everything at once, but he still wants to buy them. Please tell me again how these rings are only lucky charms...
 
Yuri buys Gold Wedding Rings for 769.94 euro
 
And Victor looks like he's thinking "Wait, what's happening? Yuri, what are you doing? Is this for real?"
 
Victor is confused
 
Then, look at this! The scene where they get engaged. Look at how Yuri takes off Victor's glove so carefully, and how much Yuri blushes. By the way, it's not too important that Yuri takes off Victor's glove carefully and sensually, I mean, it's good enough that he just takes off his glove. How often do you take off someone's glove except for maybe your potential kids' or for someone who needs help? Exactly, almost never. Basically it's most common to do for someone you're in love with romantically. Does it look like Victor needs help to take off his glove? No, Yuri takes off Victor's glove to show Victor how important this moment is for him, and that he cares for Victor.
 
Yuri takes off Victor's glove and blushes intensely
Victor (thinks): "Sometimes, when backed into a corner,
athletes can act completely unexpectedly."
 
Then, Yuri puts a ring on Victor's right ring finger and Victor puts a ring on Yuri's. Yuri says "Thank you for everything up to now. I... I couldn't think of something better. But, um... I'll try my best from tomorrow on, so... Tell me something for good luck.". He doesn't say anything about the rings being lucky charms, here, he only says that he wants Victor to tell him something for good luck. Also, he's very, very nervous, he almost splurts out the "Tell me something for good luck." part.
 
When he was in the jewellery shop he thought "I've always wanted a lucky charm. I-it's a lucky charm so that I can do my best in the Final! It's also a thank you gift to Victor for all of his help.". He never actually says what exactly the lucky charm is. He may mean that the lucky charm is the rings, or the engagement, or both. Because it's translated to "it" instead of "they" I guess he means the engagement, but I don't know since they don't have the word "it" in Japanese and I don't really know what he's thinking in Japanese in that scene. But, as we already know, Yuri wants Victor to be at his side, to have him close to himself. By the way, even in his thinking he stutters when he thinks "I-it's a lucky charm", his brain tries to make himself less nervous, it's actually pretty common to lie to oneself to make things better, there are plenty of scientific studies about this phenomenon.
 
He also says that the rings are a thank you gift for Victor for all his help. I think he doesn't only mean the help with his skating career, but also the help with understanding what romantic love is, and sexual love for that sake if you think of Yuri's eros program and how Yuri has grown in his ability to seduce Victor, not only by doing it without knowing he's doing it, but also in actively doing it as seen in episode 8.
 
Also, note that they're standing in front of a church. Why would you stand in front of a church putting golden wedding rings on each other's ring fingers if not if you're getting engaged?
 
Blushing Yuri puts a ring on Victor's right ring finger
Victor puts a ring on Yuri's right ring finger
 
Yuri looks like he's about to cry from happiness
 
Victor and Yuri give each other kind looks from feeling blessed
 
Now you may be like "But, they're putting the rings on the ring fingers on the right hand, so technically it's not an engagement since then the rings would be on the left hand!"
 
In Russia you wear the engagement ring and the wedding ring on your right ring finger. Also, they are in Spain here, and in Spain you also wear the engagement ring on the right ring finger. Also, as a comparison, when JJ propose to his lover, in episode 11, he puts the ring on her right ring finger. Sooo, what was your argument again?...
 
Fun fact: In Arabic and Hebrew the ring finger is literally called "victory". Sound like "Victuri". :3 This has nothing to do with the series, I just wanted to tell you.
 
After the engagement, Victor and Yuri walks with their arms around each other.
 
Victor and Yuri walks with their arms around each other
 
Then we have the big revelation, the fact of why Victor really came to Yuri and why he started to like Yuri in the first place: The Banquet.
 
Yuri: "At last year's Final, I was always by myself, even at the banquet.
I couldn't even talk to Victor."
*Victor almost chokes on his beer*
Victor: "Yuri, you don't remember?"
 
Oh Gosh, poor Victor! Here he thought all the time that Yuri remembered the banquet. Now he must feel like a fool turning up, uninvited and naked, in Yuri's home eight months earlier. xD
 
Then we have the scene where the rings are noticed and Phichit gets into Victuri ship captain mode, again, and mistakes the rings for being wedding rings rather than engagement rings.
 
Phichit mistakes Yuri's and Victor's rings for being wedding rings
 
The Victuri-deniers may here say "But, Yuri tries to stop Phichit from telling everybody that they got married, therefore it can't be engagement rings, since Yuri wouldn't stop Phichit if he was even almost right."
 
Oh, come on now. Yuri tries to stop Phichit because Phichit mistakes the rings for being wedding rings rather than engagement rings, and because Phichit is screaming it out to the whole restaurant and everybody at the restaurant give them applauses. Also, note that Victor looks uncomfortable too when Phichit misunderstands, and he has this look even though he's the one who later explains that the rings are engagement rings, not wedding rings. Both Yuri and Victor get embarrassed by Phichit's reaction to the rings.
 
Victor: "Don't get the wrong idea. This is an engagement ring.
 
Victor proceeds by saying that he and Yuri will marry when Yuri wins gold, and here Yuri tries to stop Victor from saying that. Both because Yuri gets embarrassed and because he means something like "Don't say that in this room where basically everybody wants that gold medal!", as you can see by what follows.
 
Victor: "We'll get married once he wins a gold medal. Right, Yuri?
Yuri: "V-victor!"
Otabek: "A gold..."
Phichit: "...medal..."
Chris: "...huh?"
JJ: "I'll be the one who wins gold and gets married, of course!
Sorry we can't congratulate you on that future marriage."
 
When Victor stands at the beach, the day after, Yuri Plisetsky offends Victor for being together with Katsuki Yuri. This makes Victor pissed, and this is the first time we see Victor pissed, for real, in the whole series.
 
*Victor looks at his engagement ring*
Yuri Plisetsky: "Why do you look so happy to be looking after that damn pig?
the ring you got from that pig is garbage."
*Victor gets really pissed at Yuri Plisetsky,
and in the whole series for that sake, for the first time*
 
In the end of episode 10 we get to see the actual banquet. Let's take a look at it. First Victor notices Yuri, probably he feels kind of pity for Yuri coming last, and with low points too, and despite this being dragged to the banquet by his coach.
 
Victor notices Yuri
 
Then Katsuki Yuri starts the dance battles by competing with Yuri Plisetsky. Look at how interested Victor becomes in Katsuki Yuri. Victor is in the background taking photos of him and cheering for him.
 
Victor takes photos of Katsuki Yuri and cheers for him, during the dance battle
 
Then, Victor gets to dance battle with Yuri. By the way, take a look at the fifth picture below and tell me if you also think they're playing matador and bull... xD
 
Yuri and Victor dance battles
 
After a while the dance battle between Victor and Yuri instead becomes a partner dance. I think this is the moment when Victor falls in love with Yuri. I'm surprised that Yuri is able to do a partner dance while being so drunk, but obviously he's good at it since Victor seems to like it, based on Victor's smiles.
 
Oh Gosh, they're looking so damn cute in the second picture below. No wonder Victor falls for him when being treated with this dance.
 
Yuri leads Victor in a partner dance
 
Then Yuri invites Victor to come to his home and to be his coach. Victor gets really happy about this, since he has fallen in love with this man who he got to have a partner dance with. This scene below is very likely after the partner dance since Yuri is wearing less clothes than he did in the partner dance. If this is before or after the pole dance is hard to tell, but I would guess it's after since Chris is not wearing his tie, which he wore in the beginning of the pole dance, and therefore it's more likely that Yuri has put on some of his clothes again rather than Chris has taken off his tie and then is putting it on again for the pole dance to then take it off again. This means that Victor has already seen Yuri pole dancing before this scene takes place, and because of this it's even more obvious why Victor fell in love with Yuri, since Victor seems to be a person who likes to see naked and half-naked bodies as we can tell from what he has said and done before, during the series.
 
Victor, who's now in love with Yuri, gets really happy about Yuri's invitation
 
Now, the scene in episode 1, where Yuri doesn't want a commemorative photo with Victor, makes much more sense. I mean, of course Victor would be sad from that, and of course he thought the invitation was withdrawn from Yuri's side. This is why it took a year until Victor came to Hasetsu, because he came there after he saw Yuri skate his program and he understood that Yuri still thinks of him, even though it's not in the same way he thinks Yuri thinks of him.
 
Sorry, but I had to make a part 2 of this analysis, since blogg.se didn't allow me to have a longer post than this. Episode 11 and 12 will be in the next part.

Alternativ kost version 2.0

 
Språk förändras, och jag lär mig mer om ord som jag tidigare trodde att jag hade stenkoll på. Så här kommer en uppdaterad lista med ännu fler begrepp och ord för olika koster med reducerat eller inget intag av animaliska produkter. Observera att jag här även gör en skillnad mellan insektsprodukter och insekter. Insektsprodukter innebär sådant som kommer från insekter utan att vara själva insekten, till exempel honung. I "kött" ingår ko, gris, fågel, fisk och skaldjur, om inget annat specificieras. Lakto betyder mjölk och syftar på alla mjölkprodukter. Ovo betyder ägg och syftar enbart på ägg från fågel, ej andra ägg.

Observera att detta enbart är generellt sett, det finns ju till exempel sveganer som väljer bort mjölk av olika anledningar, så tänk på att individen är viktigast, kategorier är bara till för att förenkla.
 
Koster med reducerat kött
 
Sveganskt
Endast ekologiskt och/eller svenska kött-, mjölkprodukter och ägg.
Kött: Ja, ekologiskt/svenskt.
Insekter: Ja.
Lakto: Ja, ekologiskt/svenskt.
Ovo: Ja, ekologiskt/svenskt.
Insektsprodukter: Ja, ekologiskt/svenskt.
Undivker specifikt: Utländska och/eller icke-ekologiska animalier.
 
Vilterianskt
Endast från vilt och/eller självjagat kött. Inget processat kött.
Kött: Ja, vilt/självjagat.
Insekter: Ja.
Lakto: Ja.
Ovo: Ja.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undivker specifikt: Processat kött.

Flexitarianskt*
Äter endast kött ett fåtal gånger om året, vanligt är vid till exempel julbord eller på restaurang.
Kött: Ja, vid få utvalda tillfällen.
Insekter: Ja.
Lakto: Ja, för vissa enbart vid utvalda tillfällen.
Ovo: Ja, för vissa enbart vid utvalda tillfällen.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undviker specifikt: Att äta kött för ofta. (Många flexitarianer har en gräns på hur mycket kött de maximalt får äta under en viss tidsperiod, till exempel "max 50 gram kött/vecka".)
 
Semi-vegetariskt*
Äter endast kött om det bjuds eller dumpstras, för att minska matsvinnet.
Kött: Ja, om det bjuds eller dumpstras.
Insekter: Varierar.
Lakto: Ja, men för vissa enbart när det bjuds eller dumpstras.
Ovo: Ja, men för vissa enbart när det bjuds eller dumpstras.
Insektsprodukter: Ja, men för vissa enbart när det bjuds eller dumpstras.
Undviker specifikt: Att köpa kött.

*Flexiterianskt och semi-vegetariskt brukar oftast inte särskiljas, så definitionerna varierar en hel del.
 
Demi-vegetariskt
Kött: Endast från fågel, fisk och skaldjur.
Insekter: Ja.
Lakto: Varierar.
Ovo: Ja.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undviker specifikt: Kött från fyrbenta landlevande djur. Ofta undviks också gelatin och löpe.
 
Pollo-vegetariskt/Polloterianskt
Kött: Endast från fågel.
Insekter: Varierar.
Lakto: Varierar.
Ovo: Ja.
Insektsprodukter: Varierar.
Undviker specifikt: Kött från fyrbenta landlevande djur samt fisk och skaldjur. Ofta undviks också fiskrom, gelatin och löpe.
 
Pesce-vegetariskt/Pesceterianskt
Kött: Endast från fisk och skaldjur.
Insekter: Ja.
Lakto: Varierar.
Ovo: Varierar.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undivker specifikt: Kött från fyrbenta landelvande djur samt fåglar. Ofta undiviks även gelatin och löpe.
 
 
Koster med vissa animaliska produkter
 
Lakto-ovo-vegetariskt
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Ja.
Ovo: Ja.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undviker specifikt: Kött, insekter, löpe, gelatin rom och karmin (från insekt).
 
Lakto-vegetariskt
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Ja.
Ovo: Nej.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undviker specifikt: Kött, insekter, ägg, löpe, gelatin, rom och karmin (från insekt).
 
Ovo-vegetariskt
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Nej.
Ovo: Ja.
Insektsprodukter: Ja.
Undviker specifikt: Kött, insekter, mjölk, löpe, gelatin, rom och karmin (från insekt).

Tentative Vegan (engelskt uttal)
Ej en kosthållning; en livsstil. Påminner till stor del om vegan (se nedan), med skillnaden att en tentative vegan inte undviker alla animalier. De animalier som de tillåter sig själva att äta eller använda är de som kommer från djur (animalia) som saknar nersystem, till exempel svampdjur (även känt som havssvamp eller sponge) vilket kan användas som till exempel tvättssvamp eller tampong.

Vegetariskt
Är ett paraplybegrepp för alla koster utan kött, men kan i vissa fall syfta på helvegetariskt. Till exempel får produkter i Sverige inte märkas som vegetariska om de inte är helvegetariska, det måste stå till exempel "ovo-vegetariskt" om en produkt innehåller ägg. Om du hittar en produkt som bryter mot detta kan du anmäla det till Livsmedelsverket.
 

Koster utan animaliska produkter

Helvegetariskt
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Nej.
Ovo: Nej.
Insektsprodukter: Varierar.
Undviker specifikt: Kött, mjölkprodukter, ägg, insekter, löpe, gelatin, rom och karmin (från insekt).

Raw/råveganskt
Som helvegetariskt kost fast utan att tillaga något med en temperatur på högre än 48 grader Celsius.
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Nej.
Ovo: Nej.
Insektsprodukter: Varierar.
Undviker specifikt: Processade produkter, till exempel köpt pasta. Samt sådant som måste tillagas för att kunna ätas.

Raw till Four
Som raw, fram till klockan 16:00, sedan helvegetariskt tills läggdags. Alltså generellt raw till frukost, lunch och mellanmål, men helvegetariskt till middag.
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Nej.
Ovo: Nej.
Insektsprodukter: Varierar.
Undviker specifikt: Att äta tillagad och processad mat förutom till middag.

Frukterianskt
Kött: Nej.
Insekter: Nej.
Lakto: Nej.
Ovo: Nej.
Insektsprodukter: Varierar.
Svamp: Varierar.
Undviker specifikt: Rotfrukter och andra växter som finns under jorden. Växter som inte kan ge skörd mer än en gång (alltså att rötterna måste tas upp eller att hela växten huggs av). Sådant som skadar växter och djur av att ätas. En del undviker även svamp trots att den största delen av svampen finns i hyferna under jorden, medan fruktkroppen är det som finns ovan jord och det skadar inte hyferna att plocka en (fruktkrop av en) svamp.
 
Veganskt
Ej en kosthållning; en livsstil. En vegan är en person som äter helvegetariskt, raw eller frukterianskt och dessutom inte använder läder, päls, djurtestad kosmetika (men däremot djurtestad medicin), produkter som innehåller till exempel karmin, fiskfjäll, gelatin m.m. (dessa ingredienser är vanliga i till exempel smink men förekommer även i godis, stearinljus m.m.) så långt det är möjligt. Veganer undviker även biodynamiska produkter (pga att djurdelar, så som skelett, urinblåsor m.m., ofta används som gödsel och liknande) och många veganer undviker ekologiskt (pga att till exempel gödsel i form av avföring från köttindustrin används). Veganer undviker även alla insektsprodukter.


Hur äter ni? Har ni gjort några restriktioner kring animalier gällande er kost och/eller livsstil? Själv äter jag lakto-ovo-vegetariskt men jag strävar för närvarande efter en vegansk livsstil (exklusive kosten, just nu iaf, för det är för mycket för mig för tillfället). De saker som jag köpte innan jag valde att ändra min livsstil (till exempel läder, djurtestat kosmetika, animaliska stearinljus osv) kommer jag att använda upp innan jag skaffar nytt veganskt, då jag tycker det är onödigt att slänga fungerande saker. Några saker har jag skänkt eller sålt för att de innehåller animalier.


100 saker som gör mig arg

Listan är ej rangordnad, allt är i ordningen jag kom att tänka på det.

 
1. Folk som anser att människoembryons och -fosters liv är mer värda än den gravidas liv och/eller hälsa

2. Folk som anser att människoembryon är mer värda än fullt färdigutvecklade och medvetna däggdjur

3. Kosmetisk kirurgi på barn i allmänhet och intersexuella barn i synnerhet

4. Vår könsbinära värld

5. Personer som ogillar ordet "hen"

6. Folk som tror att värden är svart-vit när det kommer till kön i allmänhet och biologiskt kön i synnerhet

7. "Biologister", alltså personer som tror att de är riktigt bra på biologi men egentligen bara har nuddat vi ytan

8. "Blev det en pojke eller en flicka?"

9. "Det blev en tuff liten pojke"

10. "Det blev en söt liten flicka"

11. Folk som inte tror på och/eller inte förstår evolution, men ändå anser att evolution är en myt

12. Folk som säger "Evolutionsteorin är BARA en teori" (anm. "hypotes" = en idé, "teori" = en idé som har bevisats vara sann, observera dock att teorier kan vara felaktiga även om de oftast inte är det, en felaktig teori beror på att den experimentella metoden var bristfällig)

13. Transofober

14. Homofober

15. Bifober

16. Heteronormen

17. Cisnormen

18. Binärnormen

19. Alkoholnormen

20. Köttnormen

21. "Är du gravid?", "Kör du ikväll?", "Tar du någon medicin?", "Är du allergisk mot alkohol?" (anm. ja, alkoholallergi finns), "Ska du träna imorgon bitti?" osv osv osv, när en person inte dricker alkohol

22. "Jag skiter i om andra är allergiska, det är deras problem, jag måste få äta mina jordnötter!" (anm. en mycket känslig jordnötsallergiker KAN DÖ av anafylaktisk chock om du äter jordnötter i närheten av hen)

23. "Tyvärr, vi tar inte specialbeställningar", när en allergisk person ska beställa mat

24. Folk som tycker att ammande personer ska gömma sig

25. Folk som inte använder kondom (eller annat barriärskydd) när de har sex för att "Det är ju såååå jobbigt att ha en påse på kuken" eller "Jag drar ut den i tid" eller "Det är inte mitt ansvar, det är personen jag har sex med som kan bli gravid" eller "Jag vill inte verka som att jag tror att min sexpartner har en könssjukdom" eller "Jag vill inte att min sexpartner ska tro att jag har en könssjukdom" osv

26. Att det är svårt att få tag på latexfria kondomer och slicklappar

27. Att det inte alls finns latexfria smaksatta kondomer och slicklappar

28. Folk som verkar tycka att våldtäkt (till exempel "surprise anal") är roligt att skämta om

29. Juridiskt kön, för det fyller ingen som helst funktion förutom att till exempel abortlagen endast gäller personer med juridiskt kön kvinna, och även om världen vore könsbinär, vad hade det spelat för roll om abortlagen gällde alla? Den handlar fortfarande bara om de som kan bli gravida och det finns många biologiska ciskvinnor där ute som inte kan bli gravida

30. Misogyni

31. Misandri, för även om det är mindre än misogyni så finns det tyvärr

32. Könade toaletter, där det till exempel inte finns sanitetsbehållare på herrtoan

33. Privilegierade personer som anser att icke-privilegierade personer bara gnäller

34. Att mensskydd inte är gratis eller åtminstone statligt prisreducerat, eller för den delen att det inte ses som en lyxvara, vilket det faktiskt gör i vissa länder (jag vill se folk mensblöda på de beslutfattarnas stolar för att de inte använde denna "lyxvara")

35. Folk som tror att XX = kvinna och XY = man

36. Folk som tror att jämställdhet = matriarkat

37. Sexister

38. Att den sortens mensskydd som är lättast att få tag på (engågnsskydd) är dåligt för miljön (till skillnad mot flergångsskydd)

39. Rasister

40. Xenofobi

41. Nya lagen i vissa delar av Frankrike som tvingar personer med burkini att klä av sig den, betala böter och/eller lämna stranden

42. Folk som anser att det är rimligt att tvinga personer som är vana vid att bära slöja att ta av sig den, för att de anser att personen i slöja är förtryckt, för de förstår inte att det är förtryck att tvinga någon att ta av sig ett plagg på det viset

43. "Jag har inget emot homosexuella, men det borde vara förbjudet att gå på gatan och skrika 'Jag är bög!'", och andra personer som inte vet vad Pride innebär men som ändå har åsikter om det

44. Folk som anser att icke-binära inte hör hemma i Pride och folk som anser att Pride endast är för homosexuella cismän

45. Folk som tror att personer med psykisk ohälsa är galningar

46. Folk som tror att personer med psykisk ohälsa bara är lata

47. Ableister

48. Extremister (inom alla grupper)

49. När det inte finns ginger beer på en bar

50. Ginger beer med alkohol i (ja, det har börjat göras några få sorter, för att nå fler personer, vilket är helt skevt eftersom det hindrar nykteristerna att dricka det men alkoholdrickarna kan ju dricka alkoholfri ginger beer)

51. Antivaxers, personer som är emot vaccin och hellre riskerar sjuka och svagas liv (till exempel personer med nedsatt immunförsvar som trots vaccin kan bli väldigt sjuka av det som vaccinet ska skydda mot) än att vaccinera sina barn

52. Folk som är emot GMO för att de inte vet vad det är

53. "Du har bara inte hittat den rätta än" som argument till asexuella, demisexuella, homosexuella osv

54. "Om vi utvecklades från schimpanser, varför finns schimpanser fortfarande kvar?" (se även punkt 11)

55. Att leva med psykisk ohälsa, för nej, det är inte så jävla kul som folk verkar tro "Du får ju vara ledig! Jag önskar att jag också kunde få vara ledig!"

56. Folk som anser att personer som tar livet av sig är själviska, den enda som är självisk är den som anser att en person som mår fruktansvärt dåligt inte ska få bestämma att hen vill slippa det. Observera dock att jag inte anser att det är rimligt att ta livet av sig, för det finns (oftast) hjälp att få och det är fruktansvärt hemskt när folk tar livet av sig, men de som tycker att det är ett själviskt drag är de som egentligen är själviska

57. Att det inte är mer än 2-3 år sedan tvångssterilisering vid könskorrigering förbjöds i Sverige, men folk tycker ändå att feminismen har gått för långt

58. Att det inte ens är ett år sedan kvinnor fick rösträtt i Saudiarabien, men folk tycker ändå att feminismen har gått för långt

59. Att kvinnor i Saudiarabien fortfarande inte får köra bil, men folk tycker ändå att feminismen har gått för långt

60. Folk som klagar på att personer kommer ut och rör på sig, lär känna nya personer m.m., bara för att personerna i fråga spelar Pokémon Go

61. Min ena förälder

62. Personer som anser att vegetarianer äter upp djurens mat

63. Personer som tror att ekologiskt = miljövängligt och därför anser att ekologiskt kött är bättre för miljön än icke-ekologiska grödor (anm. jag kommer att skriva ett inlägg om just tvetydigheten kring märkningen "ekologiskt" inom en snar framtid)

64. Att Donald Trump antagligen vinner presidentvalet i USA

65. Att sexualkunskapen är fullkomligt bristfällig i de flesta skolor

66. Folk som inte tror på intersexualism

67. Att personer med endomentrios i genomsnitt får leva med problemen i tio år innan de får en diagnos och kan få hjälp

68. Alkoholhets

69. Folk som anser att personer som är genderfluid, pansexuella, trans osv har en psykisk störning som gör dem till galningar

70. Folk som tror att djur är leksaker

71. Folk som tror att vilda djur och tama djur funkerar likadant, till exempel att de tror att vilda djur passar sig bra i fångenskap eller att tama djur kan släppas fria (tama djur mår dåligt i det fria för att de bland har svårt att få tag på mat)

72. Att personer med AIDS/HIV skammas

73. Att många tror att sexuellt överförbara sjukdomar bara kan överföras via sex

74. Personer som anser att en kuk måste vara inblandad för att det ska räknas som sex

75. Att det bara är 7 år sedan borgerligt äktenskap mellan juridiskt samkönade par blev lagligt i Sverige, men folk tycker ändå att feminismen har gått gör långt (anm. ungefär ett halvår senare blev det lagligt med kyrkligt äktenskap inom Svenska kyrkan, andra religiösa samfund tar beslut var för sig så det skiljer sig mellan alla olika religiösa samfund i Sverige)

76. Att det bara är 1 år sedan äktenskap mellan juridiskt samkönade par blev lagligt i hela USA, men folk tycker ändå att feminismen har gått för långt

77. Konspirationsteoretiker, vilket namnet till trots handlar om hypoteser och inte om teorier (se även punkt 12)

78. Att 11 länder har dödsstraff för homosexualitet

79. Att 58 länder har dödsstraff

80. Att det fortfarande är 1 land (Vitryssland) i Europa som har dödsstraff

81. Att straffmyndighetsåldern i North Carolina är 6 år (lägst i världen), och att det finns många andra stater (de flesta av USA:s stater har 7 år) och länder (de flesta har en gräns under 14 år) som har nästan lika låga åldrar

82. Att flickors straffmyndighetsålder i Iran är 9 år medan pojkars är 15 år

83. "Boys will be boys"

84. Patriarkatet

85. Att det finns olika ord för att artigt tilltala en kvinna beroende på om hen är gift eller inte ("fru" och "fröken", "miss" och "mrs" osv), alltså att kvinnan definieras av att vara eller inte vara kopplad till en man, vilket är kvarlevor från en tid då kvinnor inte kunde bli myndiga

86. Att det inte finns någon bra könsneutral statusneutral titel, "fru", "fröken" och "herr" har med kön att göra, "dr" osv har med status att göra

87. Skönhetsnormen och skönhetshets

88. Personer som våldtar

89. Du får inte donera blod om du är man och har haft sex med en annan man under de senaste 12 månaderna

90. Det finns fler tigrar i olaglig fångenskap i USA än vad det finns fria tigrar i hela världen

91. 150 000 000 000 djur dödas varje år för att ätas av människor

92. 56 000 000 000 landlevande djur dödas varje år för att ätas av människor

93. 100 000 000 landlevande djur dödas varje år i Sverige för att ätas av människor, det är mer än 10 gånger fler individer än antalet människor som bor i Sverige

94. Att folk inte förstår att det ena inte utesluter det andra, och att alla inte kan göra allt. Jag har mött alltför många människor som ifrågasätter mina val i livet för att "det är värre i [plats]". Jaha, men kan inte DU gå och fixa problemen i det landet istället för att klaga på att jag inte fixar de problemen? Och jag kanske också hjälper till att fixa de problemen på olika vis, bara det att du är för trångsynt för att förstå att det till exempel går att vara vegetarian samtidigt.

95. Trångsynthet

96. Konservatism

97. "Jämställdister", personer som anser att privilegierade personer (till exempel vita, heterosexuella able cismän i medelåldern) har det svårare än andra grupper, för att de själva tillhör en eller flera privilegierade grupper

98. När folk blir arga för att de inte får vara med i separatistiska grupper, trots att det finns en allmän grupp inom samma ämne där de som inte får vara i den separatistiska gruppen har tagit över

99. Personer som inte förstår att "Nej" alltid betyder "Nej"

100. Samhället
 

En liten uppdatering

 
Tänkte bara meddela att jag nu har tagit studieuppehåll för att vila ut mig och så småningom orka jobba mer med mitt mentala mående. Förvänta er inte att jag kommer skriva här oftare till orsak av detta, men ni kan ju alltid hålla tummarna att jag orkar skriva lite då och då iaf.
 

Fem år senare

 
Jag insåg precis att det idag är exakt 5 år sedan jag startade den här bloggen.
 
Jag tycker lite synd om er. Jag ser att ungefär 30 olika personer läser min blogg varje dag. Tyvärr får ni inte så mycket nytt att läsa speciellt ofta.
 
Jag har förändrats en del sedan jag startade den här bloggen. Då skrev jag här på bloggen några gånger i veckan, ibland varje dag. Nu skriver jag på min höjd en gång i månaden. Då tecknade jag. Nu vet jag inte ens när jag senast förde en penna över ett papper i något annat syfte än att skriva föreläsningsanteckningar eller tenta. Då spelade jag piano flera gånger i veckan. Nu spelar jag piano kanske en gång varannan månad. Då visste jag inte hur jag skulle göra för att plugga, så jag kuggade rätt mycket. Nu orkar jag inte längre plugga, så jag kuggar rätt mycket. Då var jag relativt glad, kreativ, engagerad. Nu är jag relativt nedstämd, orkeslös, stressad.
 
Det där sista är kanske inte helt sant. Jag var nedstämd, orkeslös och stressad även för 5 år sedan och jag är glad, kreativ och engagerad även idag. Men proportionerna har förändrats dramatiskt. I november 2013 började jag med antidepressiv medicin och har sedan dess jobbat med min mentala hälsa av och till väldigt mycket. Det blir bättre, men samtidigt är jag fortfarande långt ifrån mitt jag under 2011, eller för den delen till exempel mitt jag 2008, när första tecknet på nedstämdhet visade sig. Sen, när jag har trott att det har gått mot det bättre så har jag fått en smäll i ansiktet. I somras till exempel, när jag, efter att ha rest runt i södra Sverige med min sambo under ett antal veckor, kände att jag mådde bra och var glad. Då gick plötsligt min älskade kanin bort, 8 år gammal. Bara en månad senare, innan jag hunnit återhämta mig från min älskade kanins bortgång, då gick en av mina för-föräldrar bort. Det var som att jag hade fallit tillbaka ner i gropen jag precis klättrat upp ur.
 
Så, jag vet inte riktigt vad jag vill säga med det här. Jag söker inte efter tröst. Jag vill väl bara förklara varför jag inte skriver på bloggen så ofta längre.
 
Depression är svårt. Jag har inte så stor lust att skriva längre. Det känns jobbigt att skriva. Det känns jobbigt att tänka. Det känns jobbigt att argumentera och debattera. Det mesta känns jobbigt. Men när det vissa dagar inte gör det har jag oftast inte all den tid jag behöver för att ta igen allt jag inte gjorde när jag varit i en svacka. Så därför orkar jag inte skriva här så ofta längre.
 
Jag lovar inte att bli bättre på att skriva här. Men jag hoppas att jag orkar skriva här oftare.
 

En annan som också gillar Ginger Beer

 
På nyår drack jag Ginger Beer, då valde jag Bundaberg's Ginger Beer.
 
Idag satt jag och läste på bloggen Stresscoachen, som jag har fått tips om av sjukgymnaster och psykologer på Akademiska sjukhuset i Uppsala. Och ett av de inläggen jag råkade läsa idag handlade om att alkohol inte är bra när du är stressad då det finns större risk att bli beroende av alkohol om du dricker det för att stressa ned. Ett av förslagen på vad som går att dricka istället var Ginger Beer, på bilden i inlägget är Fentiman's Ginger Beer. Inlägget om att inte dricka alkohol vid stress hittar du här.
 

Recension nummer 13: Whole Earth Ginger Drink

 
Whole Earth Lightly Sparkling Organic Ginger Drink
Märke: Whole Earth
Namn: Lightly Sparkling Organic Ginger Drink
Märkningar: EU-ekologisk, Soil Association Organic
Köpt på: Ica Supermarket, Uppsala
Innehåll: Kolsyrat vatten, ekologisk äppeljuice, ekologisk agavesirap, ekologisk druvjuice, ekologisk citronjuice, ekologiskt ingefärsextrakt, naturlig arom.
Volym: 330 ml
 
Burken: Burken är silverfärgad med tryck i ljusgrönt och brons. Jag tycker att burken är fin och har ett lite psykadeliskt utseende, samt att den känns 60- eller 70-tal.
 
Dryckens utseende: Jag tycker att drycken har en klar gulbrun färg, den är rätt lik Trocadero, Champis eller Pommac i färgen men lite ljusare. Jag tycker den bubblar mycket. Sambon tycker att den genomsynlig och svagt gul samt att den ser lite trist ut.
 
Lukt: Jag tycker att den sticker i näsan ordentligt, av kolsyran. I övrigt tycker jag att den luktar sött med en ton av ingefära. Sambon tycker att den luktar surt, som lime eller citronskal.
 
Smak: Jag tycker att den smakar sött, lite bittert och bränner bra. Sambon tycker också att den bränner bra, men inte har så mycket smak av ingefära trots brännan. Jag tycker att den har en myso eftersmak som påminner om honung, vilket gör den lite sötsliskig. Sambon tycker att den smakar fruktigt. Jag tycker att den känns som en blandning av ginger ale och ginger beer, lite som en ginger ale som bränner bra. Jag tycker att den har mycket kolsyra.
 
Betyg: 3 av båda.
 
Denna burk innehåller dryck för två glas i denna storlek

Recension nr 12: Wonder Wheatgrass Guru Happy

 
Wonder Wheatgrass Guru Happy Superfood Drink.
Observera hur skiktad den var innan jag vände den.
 
Märke: Guru Happy
Namn: Wonder Wheatgrass Guru Happy Superfood Drink
Märkningar: EU-ekologisk, organic
Köpt på: Ica Supermarket, Uppsala
Innehåll: Vatten, ekologisk päronjuice, ekologisk apelsinjuice, ekologisk citronjuice, ekologiskt vetegräs, ekologisk ingefära, askorbinsyra, xanthangummi, naturliga aromer.
Volym: 330 ml
 
Flaskan: En liten glasflaska med mörkgrön kork och grön etikett med orange text. Jag tyckte att flaskan var liten, söt och tjock.
 
Dryckens utseende: Först var den skiktad, jag tyckte den var orange uppe och grön nere. Efter att jag skakat den tyckte jag att den såg läskig ut. Jag fick en känsla av spenatsoppa, den var grön-brun och mycket grumlig. Sambon tyckte att den såg ut som avloppsvatten, alltså inte så inbjudande.
 
Lukt: Jag tyckte att den luktade juice och sött, jag kände en lukt av äpple och apelsin, men lukten var svår att sätta fingret på. Sambon tyckte att den luktade mulivitaminjuice.
 
Smak: Min första tanke var att den inte var god. Jag tyckte att den smakade havre, päron, sött och ytterligare smak jag inte kunde sätta fingret på. Sambon tyckte att den smakade mulivitaminjuice. Jag tyckte att den kändes grynig. Jag tyckte också att den gav en känsla av spya, men inte lika syrlig. Sambon tyckte den var ganska syrlig. Varken jag eller sambon kände något spår av ingefära. Jag klarade knappt av att dricka upp den.
 
Betyg: 1 av mig, 2 av sambon.
 
Så här såg den ut efter att ha skakat flaskan.
Räckte till två glas i den här storleken.
 

Recension nummer 11: Apotekarnes Lemon Ginger

 
Apotekarnes Lemon Ginger
 
Märke: Apotekarnes
Namn: Lemon Ginger
Märkningar: -
Köpt på: Ica Maxi, Uppsala
Innehåll: Kolsyrat vatten, socker, citronjuice, apelsinjuice, ingefärskoncentrat, kaliumsorbat, askorbinsyra, stevioglykosider, naturlig arom, pektin, gummi arabicum, fruktkärnmjöl.
Volym: 50 cl
 
Flaskan: Flaskan är en genomskinlig PET-flaska med ljusgrön skylt och ljusgrön kork. Jag tycker att det är praktiskt med en återförslutningsbar flaska för den som vill ha med den. Jag tycker också att flaskan har fin etikett i fin grön färg. Sambon tycker att det är tråkigt med PET-flaska.
 
Dryckens utseende: Jag tycker att drycken är ljust gul och nästan genomskinlig men i stort sett grumlig. Sambon tycker att drycken är vit och grumlig, kanske svagt grön.
 
Lukt: Båda jag och sambon tycker att den luktar citron. Sambon tycker även att den luktar sött.
 
Smak: Jag tycker att den smakar citron, syrligt och gott, den är läskande och söt, med lite för sliskig eftersmak. Jag känner dock ingen smak av ingefära alls. Sambon tycker att den smakar sött och lite citron. Hen tycker också att den smakar sötningsmedel och gillar inte bismaken som det ger.
 
Betyg: Som ingefärsdricka ger jag den betyget 1, som dryck i allmänhet får den dock betyget 4 av mig. Sambon ger den betyget 2.
 
Räckte till två glas i denna storlek

Recension nummer 10: Fever-Trees Ginger Beer

 
Fever-Tree Premium Ginger Beer
 
Märke: Fever-Tree
Namn: Premium Ginger Beer
Märkningar: -
Köpt på: The English Shop, Uppsala
Innehåll: Kolsyrat källvatten, rörsocker, ingefära, naturlig arom, vinsyra, askorbinsyra.
Volym: 20 cl
 
Flaskan: Flaskan är i glas och en en etikett i silverfärg och ljust gröngrått. På etiketten är ett träd (märkets logotyp), texten på etiketten är i svart och mörkblått. Kapsylen är silverfärgad med deras logga (trädet) i mörkblått. Jag tycker att flaskan är liten och söt samt att den ser lyxig ut. Sambon tycker att det ser ut som en ciderflaska i miniformat.
 
Dryckens utseende: Jag tycker att drycken är blek i färgen, den är grumlig och den bubblar en del. Sambon tycker också att den är blek och hen tycker också att den ser lemonadliknande ut i färgen.
 
Lukt: Jag tycker att den luktar ingefära och sött, den luktar alltså ungefär som inlagd ingefära. Sambon tycker att den har en stark ingefärslukt.
 
Smak: Jag tycker att den bränner bra och smakar mycket ingefära. Jag tycker också att den smakar lite gammalt, eftersmaken har en unken touch. Sambon tycker att den bränner jättebra. Hen tycker också att den är ganska söt men att det döljs i brännandet. Utöver det tycker hen att det är en inte så god smak, som är svår att sätta fingret på vad det smakar, precis när den hamnar i munnen.
 
Betyg: 3 från mig och 4 från sambon.
 
Denna flaska räckte till två sådana här glas
 
Se även Fever-Trees Ginger Ale
 

Är du smartare än genomsnittet?

 
Majoriteten av alla människor tror att de är smartare än genomsnittet.
 
Sug på den karamellen en stund. Fundera på vad det innebär, innan du läser vidare.
 
...
 
Majoriteten av alla människor tror att de är smartare än genomsnittet. Det är en ekvation som inte går ihop. Om vi skulle ta en grupp människor, så pass stor grupp att de skulle utgöra majoriteten av alla människor, då skulle de även utgöra genomsnittet av alla människor. Om vi skulle ta gruppen av människor som tror att de är smartare än genomsnittet så skulle det vara genomsnittet av alla människor som trodde det. Det går inte att vara både smartare än genomsnittet och ligga på genomsnittet i smarthet.
 
Det här tycker jag är ett intressant fenomen. Det tyder på att vi lever i oss själva väldigt mycket. Vi tror på oss själva. Vi litar på oss själva. Våra egna övertygelser är det vi ser som de rätta övertygelserna.

Jag tror att jag är smartare än genomsnittet. Varför skulle jag inte tro det? Enligt min världsbild så stämmer vissa saker och andra saker stämmer inte, sen kan min världsbild förändras och jag kan inse saker på vägen som får mig att tänka att jag har blivit smartare. Av att låta oss själva inse saker kan vi bara bli smartare, enligt oss själva, oavsett om vi har rätt eller fel enligt resten av världen.
 
Bara för att jag tror eller upplever att jag är smartare än genomsnittet betyder inte det att jag egentligen är lite dumdristig, för det skulle göra mer än hälften (alltså majoriteten) av alla människor lite dumdristiga, vilket vi inte är. Ibland tror vi helt enkelt på saker som inte är sanna, vi ifrågasätter inte tillräckligt eller ifrågasätter för mycket. Som när det för första gången ifrågasattes att jorden var platt, någon ifrågasatte det och påstod att jorden egentligen är rund. De flesta andra tyckte att hen var dum i huvudet som trodde att jorden var rund. Alltså trodde majoriteten av alla människor att de var smartare än personen som trodde att jorden var rund, trots att personen som trodde att jorden var rund var den som hade rätt.
 
Det är det här som gör att vi än idag måste kämpa för allas lika värde, oavsett om det gäller kvinnor, transpersoner, funktionsnedsatta, icke-mänskliga djur eller någon annan grupp med individer, eller en enstaka individ för den delen. För trots att det är självklart för en person att det inte är något fel på homosexuella eller att icke-mänskliga djur också har känslor så betyder inte det att det är självklart för någon annan. Det är därför vi måste fortsätta att diskutera och argumentera. Det är därför vi måste fortsätta att forska om allt som går att forska på. Idag är det vetenskapligt bevisat att icke-mänskliga djur har känslor, att kvinnor kan få orgasm och att det finns personer vars biologiska kön är varken man eller kvinna, trots detta är det fortfarande personer som inte tror på detta eller rent av inte vet om det. Det finns många som inte tror på vetenskap, "Vetenskapsmän har ju haft fel förr" (citat från min ena förälder), men utan den hade vi inte kunnat veta att majoriteten av alla människor tror att de är smartare än genomsnittet. För det tror de. Det tror vi. De flesta av oss tror sig vara smartare än genomsnittet. Jag tror att jag är smartare än genomsnittet, även om jag antagligen inte är det (statistiskt sett), det är inget jag kommer att gömma under en stol, för om jag inte hade trott mig vara smartare än genomsnittet hade jag aldrig velat diskutera eller argumentera för mina åsikter, min världsbild, min livsåskådning. Hade jag inte trott att jag var smartare än genomsnittet så hade jag aldrig startat den här bloggen.
 
Tror du att du är smartare än genomsnittet?
 

Ett personligt inlägg om kön och sexualitet

 
Jag kände att det var dags.
 
Det här inlägget har legat länge och väntat på att postas, men jag har känt mig lite osäker på att posta det eftersom det är så personligt.
 
Det är dags för mig att komma ut.
 
Inte för att jag egentligen vill komma ut. Jag förstår inte ens varför vi måste komma ut. Och jag vill egentligen inte att uttrycket "komma ut" ska behövas eller ska finnas över huvud taget.
 
Men jag vill berätta för er om mitt kön och min sexualitet.
 
Nej, jag kommer inte berätta rakt ut vad mitt kön är. Men nästan.
 
*Konstpaus*
 
När jag gick i 1:an, lågstadiet, hade jag aldrig tänkt en tanke på att jag skulle kunna bli kär i personer av samma kön som jag. Inte heller hade jag tänkt tanken på att jag kanske inte skulle vara det som alla sa att jag var. Jag var kär i flera olika personer i den här åldern, ingen av samma kön som jag.
 
Till en dag. Något hände. Detta var i 2:an. En nära vän till mig kom fram till mig en dag efter skolan. Hen frågade chans på mig.
 
Att fråga chans var något vi gjorde i den här åldern, jag har ingen aning om ifall det är likadant idag eller om barn gör på andra sätt för att förklara sin kärlek för varandra.
 
Min värld var omtumlad. Hur var detta ens möjligt? Jag hade hört talas om bögar och lebbar. Men att kunna gilla både killar och tjejer var något som jag inte visste om att det gick. Jag visste att min vän tidigare hade varit kär i personer som inte var samma kön som hen själv, men jag visste inte att det gick att gilla alla.
 
Jag svarade att jag skulle tänka på saken. För jag visste uppriktigt sagt inte vad jag tyckte eller vad jag borde tycka.
 
Några dagar senare hade jag bestämt mig. Jag bestämde mig för att testa, för att se om jag gillade den här personen mer än bara som kompis. För jag visste inte alls vad jag kände, eller vad jag fick känna.
 
Det här var mitt enda, mer eller mindre, "seriösa" förhållande under fråga chans-åldern. Jag hade ett annat "seriöst" förhållande under fråga chans-perioden något år senare, men det var inte mer seriöst än att jag fick en puss på kinden en gång, men vi var väldigt goda vänner.
 
I alla fall, jag och min vän, eller "partner" må vi väl säga, höll ihop säkert i ett år. Vi lekte tillsammans och vågade oss till och med på att prata om sex. Fast vi visste ingenting om sex, så jag tror att de samtalen inte var så jävla givande när allt kommer kring. I alla fall vågade vi tillsammans att diskutera hur folk egentligen gjorde för att ha sex och om bara de som ville ha barn kunde ha sex. När vi pratade om sex så refererade vi alltid till att en kvinna och en man har sex, vilket förvånar mig så här i efterhand eftersom vi själva inte var en kvinna och en man, utan två barn av samma kön. Dock minns jag att jag alltid blev refererad till som den som var det biologiska kön jag egentligen inte är, medan hen alltid refererades till den som var det biologiska kön hen är. Och detta fick mig att börja fundera över mitt kön.
 
Varför kunde jag inte se oss som två personer av samma kön? Jag förstod inte vad som var fel på mig. För jag trodde verkligen att någonting var fel.
 
Efter att min "partner" hade blivit retad då någon kommit på hen med att vara "en jävla homo" så bestämde vi oss för att göra slut. Jag blev strax därpå tillsammans med tidigare nämnda person som var mitt andra "seriösa förhållande", en person som inte hade samma kön som jag, och min tillvaro var räddad. Ingen skulle någonsin komma på att jag och min vän, vi som precis gjort slut, faktiskt var tillsammans. Det skyddade både mig, från att bli retad alls, och min vän från att bli fortsatt retad.
 
När mellanstadiet började närma sig så gjorde jag och min nya "partner" slut. Och i och med mellanstadiets början så verkade fråga chans-stadiet också gå mot sitt slut, så allt blev väldigt mycket svårare.
 
När jag gick i 4:an så råkade jag se en dokumentär om intersexuella, på TV. Tankarna om mitt kön började komma tillbaka och allting snurrade runt i mitt huvud av förvirring. Jag kanske var intersexuell? Eller vad var jag egentligen? De flesta kompisar jag hade hade samma kön som jag, och jag verkade i huvudsak bli kär i personer som inte hade samma kön som jag. Men varför "tog" jag "det andra" könet när jag var tillsammans med en person som hade samma kön som jag?
 
Jag förstod inte och plötsligt började allting bli väldigt läskigt. Jag började inse att puberteten knackade på dörren och att det kanske skulle uppdagas att jag inte alls var det som alla trodde att jag var. Paniken. Ångesten över att kanske se min kropp förändras åt ett håll som ingen hade trott att den skulle göra. Kanske jag även skulle vara steril. Var det mig de beskrev i dokumentären? Var jag en av dem?
 
När puberteten hade satt igång för fullt så kunde jag pusta ut. Jag utvecklades som jag skulle. Det var inget "fel" på mig, trots att jag vid flertalet tillfällen hade kännt mig som "det andra könet" när jag var tillsammans med en person av samma kön som jag.
 
Tiden gick och jag gick igenom några av de värsta åren i mitt liv, när det kommer till att retas av andra. Slutet av mellanstadiet och början av högstadiet. Vi var alla förvirrade små höns som varken visste bu eller bä. Det var mobbning och hot om våld i korridorerna på skolan. Alla var elaka. Men någonstans i det där vimmlet av galenskap och pubertala tonåringar hittade jag tre jämlikar. Tre vänner som än idag är mina bästa. Vi började tillsammans att spana in de som gick på gymnasiet. För på den tiden var min skola både ett högstadium och gymnasium, väldigt vettigt faktiskt att de flyttade högstadiet till en annan skola sedan, vilket skedde lagom till att jag började 2:an i gymnasiet där.
 
I alla fall, tillbaka till slutet av högstadiet. Vi spanade in de som gick i gymnasiet. Mogna, precis som vi fyra ansåg oss vara. Jag och mina tre vänner var lite lillgamla helt enkelt. Vi gick och drömde om att få börja gymnasiet och komma bort från det där aphuset till högstadium. Och vi spanade på personer i gymnasiet. Jag hade spanat in en person, som inte hade samma kön som jag. Tankarna från mellanstadiet var bortblåsta. Inte en chans att jag skulle vara något annat än cis och hetero.

Jag hade framförallt spanat in en person som jag tyckte var så himla snygg. Det var helt sanslöst vad jag tyckte hen var snygg. Det var min framtida självfrände, trodde jag då.
 
Våren kom, vi slutade i högstadiet och tre av oss hade valt att fortsätta gymnasiet på samma skola, medan den fjärde begav sig till andra utkanten av stan för att gå på ett gymnasium där. Jag och mina två vänner som blev kvar skulle gå olika linjer. Men en av mina vänner kom inte in på sitt förstahandsval och hamnade istället tillsammans med mig på sitt andrahandsval, och min andra vän på samma skola bytte linje, så det slutade med att vi alla tre hamnade i samma klass. Visserligen bytte även jag linje, men vi fortsatte att gå i samma klass då några linjer hade de flesta lektionerna tillsammans.
 
Vi tre fortsatte att spana på de äldre eleverna. Men en dag när jag hade en lektion med en annan klass så stod en person där som jag inte hade sett förut. En ny snygg person. En person av samma kön som jag. "Omg.", "Vad gör jag nu?", "Vad är det här?". Det där som inte hade brytt mig sedan lågstadiet var tillbaka. En känsla av att vara fel. Att tänka fel. Att känna fel.
 
Jag var fortfarande väldigt förälskad i den där personen som jag spanat in i slutet på högstadiet. Men nu kom en till person in i bilden och jag visste inte vad jag skulle göra. Vid det här laget visste jag att bisexualitet fanns, men jag visste också att bisexuella ansågs vara veliga och att de inte kunde bestämma sig. Jag ville inte att folk skulle ta mig för velig (även om jag faktiskt har väldigt svårt att bestämma mig för saker och ofta får beslutsångest). Jag ville att folk skulle ta mig för bestämd och rak. Jag hade hört att det gav pondus att vara bestämd och rak nämligen.
 
Mitt i allt detta, i min förvirring över min sexualitet, så skedde något plötsligt. En dag gick jag upp till föreningslokalerna på skolan. Jag hade aldrig varit där förut, men jag gick dit i hopp om att få träffa den person som jag var så förälskad i, alltså hen som inte hade samma kön som jag. För jag hade hört av en vän att den personen jag gillade var med i en förening där uppe.
 
Men så när jag gick in i föreningslokalen slog hormonerna till. Där stod den sötaste och snyggaste person jag någonsin sett. En person som jag dessutom aldrig hade sett förut. Jag blev stormförälskad och de andra två personerna glömde jag helt bort.
 
Det ena ledde till det andra och fem månader senare var jag tillsammans med denna person. Vi var jättekära. Och vi gjorde jättekonstiga och en del dumma grejer. Haha, kärlek alltså, det får en att göra nästan vad som helst.
 
Dock började jag, någonstans i slutet av gymnasiet eller början av universitetet, att inse något. Trots att jag hade ett fast förhållande med en person som jag visste könet på så visste jag egentligen inte om jag var bisexuell eller inte. För när känslorna från att vara nykär hade börjat lägga sig så började jag titta på folk igen. Se om de var attraktiva. Och jag såg både män och kvinnor som attraktiva. Dock kunde jag inte säga att "jag gillar män", "jag gillar kvinnor" eller "jag gillar både män och kvinnor" eftersom det berodde mycket mer på personen i fråga snarare än deras kön.
 
För jag gillade inte kvinnor, inte majoriteten av dem i alla fall. Och jag gillade inte män, inte majoriteten av dem i alla fall. Men jag gillade vissa personer. Om personen var attraktiv och trevlig så spelade könet ingen roll. Någonstans i dessa tankar råkade jag också bli lite kär i en kursare, som inte har samma kön som min partner. Och det finns många personer jag tycker är snygga och attraktiva, även de som jag inte vet vad de har för kön.
 
Jag började fundera mer på det där med kön och insåg att det nog inte är så viktigt egentligen. Och i samma veva började jag fundera på mitt eget kön, igen. "Kanske jag inte behöver vara mitt biologiska kön?", "Men jag är ju mitt biologiska kön, väl?", "Eller är jag det andra könet?", "Nej, jag är inte det andra könet". Det var egentligen ingenting som jag kunde säga definitivt, men någonting kändes inte helt rätt när jag själv inte fick välja när jag skulle ses som mitt biologiska kön, och när jag skulle ses som något annat. Ni vet när folk säger till en grupp "Hej tjejer!" eller "Hej killar!", när de sa det till den gruppen jag var med i så kändes det inte alltid rätt. Vem var de att bestämma vem jag skulle vara just då?
 
Lite efterforskning på nätet fick mig att hitta begreppen "pansexuell" och "genderfluid". Och det är här jag är idag. Att vara pansexuell innebär helt enkelt att du blir kär i personer oavsett vilket kön de har. Och att vara genderfluid innebär att du vissa dagar känner dig som ditt biologiska kön och andra dagar känner du dig som något annat. Sen så vet jag att ni tänker att jag är emot fack. Ja, jag är emot att alla ska placera en i fack hela tiden, det är lite det som det här inlägget handlar om, att andra placerade mig i fack. Att däremot placera sig själv i fack är bra för att hitta likasinnade, men det är absolut inte ett krav på att placera sig själv i några fack.

Och vet ni vad? Jag har suttit på dessa begrepp så himla länge nu. Ändå har jag aldrig delat med mig till någon i min närmaste närhet (förutom min partner). Så det här är ett ganska stort steg för mig. Men vet ni vad? Det kändes inte alls som ett stort steg, att bara skriva en text om min uppväxt. Det kändes bara helt naturligt att berätta om mitt liv för er. För jag vet att ni läser min blogg. Min partner och mina tre bästa vänner alltså. Och nu har ni fått tagit del av lite tydligare information om vem jag är.

Och vadå "komma ut", varför ska vi behöva "komma ut"? Det är ju faktiskt inte något konstigt att vara sig själv.
 

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